Sunday, November 08, 2009

Another Blind Date...

The blind date... I've always hated blind dates, the whole experience of them. Starting with the awkward set-up all the way to the bitter end of the night when both parties usually question what their friends were thinking. The only saving grace of these truly horrific evenings are the stories that become legend told over beers, various dinner parties, or even wedding speeches for the rest of your life. Not to say their isn't the occasional success story, but most go something like this...

It was just another day at work. Everything was moving steadily along when I was introduced to a very nice older couple who were visiting LA from Texas. He was an older gentleman in his late 40's, distinguished, with a tie and jacket. She was in her early 30's, and cute in a nerdy sort of way, with a nice sun dress. By the looks of them he was rich and she was riding the gravy train. Now whenever we have guests at my job, we give them the star treatment, literally! These people were no exception and as their day with us was winding down the woman turned to me and said, "Stickler, Do you have a girlfriend?" I was a little taken aback by this, I know we had all just spent the day together but are we all really that close? So I answered with a "Not at the moment..." The woman looked to the older gentleman and said, "Why, your such an adorable guy, we know the perfect girl for you." I immediately knew what was happening, I was about to be set up...

The woman reaches into her bag and grabs her cell phone as I stutter, "You know that is ok...I'm kind of getting over somebody..." basically anything to not be set up. The woman goes, "Oh don't be silly, She is a beautiful girl, she is my niece, and her name is A...She just moved to LA...Let me show you a picture." So the woman goes to A's facebook page on her iphone, got to love technology. She forces the phone into my hand and says, "See, she is beautiful!" It was a picture of A on the steps of a sorority with many other girls, I assumed she was the one with the blond streak running through her dark hair. She looked cute from what I could tell. Suddenly the phone was yanked from my hand and the woman is texting A. She turns to me and says, "Ok it is all taken care of I told her about you and she wants to meet so I'm going to give you her phone number. All you have to do is call her!" Next thing I know she is putting A's number into my phone and then they are gone saying goodbye to everyone else.

So I stood there, looking at this number. I guess it couldn't hurt to call, but I needed a plan. Questions were running through my head, What do I say? What should I ask her to do? What if she is a terrible racist? Etc... Well, before I had time to really think on it my boss was yelling at me for something and I was back in the zone of my job.

A couple days passed by and I had a plan...kind of. I was going to call A up during my lunch break and make some sort of witty joke about how crazy her Aunt was...Yeah that would be perfect and then ask her out for drinks. Something simple that I could get out of easily if things turned sour. The clock ticked by and it was my lunch break, I picked up my phone and hit the dial button. The phone rang a couple of times and I got an answering machine. It was sweet sounding voice with no Texas accent. I left a very awkward message that went like this..."Hi A, My name is Stickler and I met your Aunt and Uncle the other day at my work. This is super awkward but they said we might get along so call me back when you get a chance. Hope your having a great day!" I know, I was kind of hoping not to get an answering machine...but again what do you say to someone you know nothing about in a phone message?

Well, regardless later on that night A called me back. She did indeed laugh at what her Aunt had done. And as we talked it turned out randomly that she had gone to the same college as I in Indiana. This made things even easier so I invited her at the end of our conversation to get up super early on Saturday Morning to watch the IU game with me at the Alumni Bar. My thought was if all else fails at least their would be many other people around. Well she didn't show... it turns out she slept in... At least I was at the alumni bar with friends. She did call and we rescheduled for a Tuesday night.

Tuesday night came and I was going to meet her at this certain bar that was known for their brews from around the world. So I'm sitting at the end of the bar waiting...minutes ticking by. Enough of them for me to finish my first beer. When a girl walks in the door. She was totally out of the eighties, Big black hair swirling in all directions held up by product, black stretch pants, little black boots, and a black tight jacket. In my head I thought, I wonder where she parked her Delorian? She then approached me and introduced herself as A. Jokes and jokes and jokes were swimming through my head. I stifled my brain and said, Hi, I'm Stickler. We sat there talking and it became very clear very fast that we had nothing in common. To make matters worse she was just another actress looking for a job. We parted ways and I was even nice enough to invite her to an event my friends were putting on... I mean she did go to my college. She called me the next day and turned me down.

I hate blind dates!

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