Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Porch

Since I have been gone most of the summer, I wasn't able to fully take advantage of my back porch. Over the past couple of years this porch has been the home of many nights of drunken debauchery, barbecues, and the occasional midnight rendezvous. So being the last weekend of the summer months, I had to throw a summer of backporch fun into one night.

Ditching my friends AFC party, which I heard later on was full of it's own Drunken tales that will be told for years to come, I stayed home with the roommates and their friends. It all started as usual; Costume Girl got on her phone and called her friend Reny, not to be confused with Renee, unfortunately that is what she did. She called yelled into the phone when the person picked up, "Why aren't you here and where is our beer." Then proceeds into a long diatribe about getting his ass in gear, gossip, etc... But then her face went white as a ghost. Realizing she was not talking to her friend Reny, but her Agent Renee. Yes, she had made a large party foul and the night hadn't even started yet. The question stood out like a Large elephant hovering thirty feet in the air defecating all over the onlookers; Would Costume girl be getting anymore work from her agent after that call?

It was debated most of the night and decided that when confronted with the question of what happened, she would play the "have no memory of the phone call" card. Eventually Reny and his friend Diane showed up. We all sat on the porch discussing the size of midget penis. I never knew it actually was the same length of one of their legs and in fact could be mistaken as a "Third Leg." Reliable sources came into play to learn that useless fact.

So on the night went, never one of us moving from the porch. Till I had the grandiose idea that I would teach my roommates how to play the classic drinking game from Indiana, Sink The Biz. I may have told stories of Sink the Biz from my college days, how my bucket resides on the ceiling of Nicks because of a drinking record my roommates from college and I hold, or the night I was seduced by one of my students while playing the the game, or maybe even the tale of my 21st birthday when this small bucket of beer caused me to be thrown out of the Bar that I hold so close to my heart.

Anyways I ran upstairs and came back with the bucket that was bequeathed to me on graduation day from the most lovely waitress Eryn. In my most excited voice I exclaimed, "This is Sink the Biz." Everyone looked at me confused and I explained the rules of a bucket full of beer with a small weighted glass floating in the center. Everyone has a glass of beer and pours their beer into the glass floating in the center(the biz). Whoever sinks it, Drinks it. I then ran to the store realizing one case of beer would not be enough and purchased two more cases to help in the cause.

***Update: For the actual Rules to Sink the Biz Click Here!***

When I returned they all looked at me like I was nuts. They didn't understand how a game where you were trying not to drink could be fun? Well after we went through one case of beer in the first 20 minutes of play, everyone kind of understood. The drunkenness got worse and worse, still no one moving from the porch. Slowly but surely people started to pass out, weird unexplainable things started to happen, and to be honest it all is a little blurry. Don't worry I didn't make out with my roommates, but I'm pretty sure at naked running was discussed. All in all it turned into some great roommate bonding and now I think they understand a little bit more about the drinking culture in Indiana.

Today was tough, waking up with a hangover. But It didn't stop me from trying on a kilt. Yeah, I was kind of molested by a giant, possibly gay, man in a kilt, who took my pants off and put a kilt on me. Trust me it makes as little sense to me as well, but I got to admit wearing a dress sure was nice in this heat!


Blogger Steph said...

That sounds like an awesome game. Hope you've recovered from your hangover.

August 27, 2006 9:26 PM  
Blogger Lynn-e said...

You know things have gotten bad when you end up in a skirt. A man skirt, at that.

Good times!

August 28, 2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger Drunken Chud said...

dude, go see beerfest. GREATEST MOVIE EVAR!

sounds like helluva good time man, gotta love drinking games based off old WWII propaganda catchphrases. i wonder why "intern the japs" or "work is freedom" never caught on...

August 28, 2006 11:55 AM  
Anonymous shark said...

Interesting chiefing. Your friends have a strange style. At the jo-tel it takes us about three seconds to draw a cock on the cheek that is spewing into the mouth. If the subject's sleep is too tenuous to go right to the face, the "I am gay" on the arm is a must.

August 30, 2006 8:00 PM  
Blogger Stickler said...

Steph, It took all day and eventually more drinking to make it subside.

Lynn-e, I think you should wear more skirts!

Chud, There just wasn't enough drinking to make those events fun. Trust me if there was free booze I don't think people would have complained.

Shark, Welcome PETE just sent me a funny e-mail about Brazil, I thinkI may move there! But in response, I think my page just needs more nudity,What do you think?

August 31, 2006 3:20 AM  
Blogger Drunken Chud said...

so, explain the rules of this, "sink the biz" to me. as your views and opinions intrigue me and i'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

September 01, 2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Claire and Lara said...

definitely want to learn the rules of htis game...but they're taking care of us with their own games here in thailand...

hey! you need to explain to us how you could possibly help us develop our genius reality tv show idea (because there aren't enough of those on the air...)

September 06, 2006 2:31 AM  

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