Saturday, April 29, 2006

The old man sent me this I thought it was interesting.

Try to read this. I'm sure you can....very interesting.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht
oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit
and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses
and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was
pmorantt!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

What happens when...


I eat an entire container of peanut butter in one sitting.

Well, today folks I answered that question. I sat down at breakfast and instead of putting jam on my toast I opened up the container of peanut butter. It's not that I didn't want the strawberry jam, I just couldn't find it. Which led me to believe that I had eaten it all on a previous occasion.

I don't deal well with the chuncky peanut butter, I like it soft and smooth. There is something about chunks being in my food that is kind of upsetting. You take a bite and even though there is that smoothness to the peanut butter, there is something more there and it makes me wonder if those chunks really are peanuts or something else? I feel the same way about pulpy orange juice...but come on chunky liquid! The only other chunky liquid I know is puke, ok this thought process is getting a little out of hand!

So after breakfast, I had some work to do and I got hungry again. I then made some banana boats out of peanut butter and bananas. They were so good I decided to go to the store and buy more bananas. Which suddennly gave me the idea that maybe I should find other things to dip into the peanut butter jar. And all of you sickos out there I did not dip that into the peanut butter jar. But it does remind me of this story once where a girl put peanut butter down there so her dog would lick it off. Talk about chunky peanut butter!

Anyways, I bought:

Bananas
- Take two pieces of bread, slather them with peanut butter, then cut one banana in half and roll the bread around the banana. The Banana Boat.
Colby Cheese- This is one I learned on a trek through the wilderness of Northern Minnesota. It is really tasty! Dip it straight into the container or take a knife and put it on the cheese.
Bagels - There is nothing like a bagel sandwich with just peanut butter, but add cream cheese too for a delightful surprise.
Celery
- Just put peanut butter on your celery, it is awsome. Try adding raisin to this!
Chocolate - For those of you with a sweet tooth.
Apples - Again this is just awsome!
Cheerios - Melt Peanut Butter and pour on top of Cheerios. UM UM Good!

I'm sure I missed some combinations, but these are the ones I grew up with so thanks MA! What did I learn...well I'm stuffed, I need to use the restroom, one can never have have enough milk when eating peanut butter, I really should find some work because these days off are killing me!

Maybe tomorrow I'll try to eat a whole watermelon?

Monday, April 24, 2006

Karaoke, Buffet, and a Premiere!


So let's just say my weekend was crazy, maybe not Animal House crazy, but still crazy! It all began with a friday night, where all my friends ditched me. But one of my oldest friends, PETE, he rescued me from the solitude and drove me to have one of the more memorable weekends I have had in awhile.

I had spent the day Rock Climbing, so I was already tired. But a call from PETE and the overzealousness to sing got me going again and I ventured off to my favorite Kareoke Haunt. The Brass Monkey, the Funky Monkey, a place of excessive drinking and kareokeing is where my tale shall begin. I arrived early, because at the Brass Monkey if you want to sing you had better get there before the sunsets in Japan or a thousand people will have beaten you to putting there songs in. As I entered the bar alone, the air around me seemed to sizzle with energy, I could feel that this night was going to be different. And trust me it had nothing to do with what happened last time I was there, I am already over that escapade.

The place was a ruckus with laughter and singing. After being greeted by my favorite waitress Jenny, I looked around and noticed the whole place was packed with people I knew, well not really knew, but "Regulars." The Die Hards, the men and women that come on wednesdays to try out new material for there regular night. It turns out that it was one of the regulars birthdays, so everyone came out to sing. It was utter craziness because they were the only ones able to get there songs in. My friend PETE hadn't arrived yet, so I went over to talk to some that I knew. I befriended all and the DJ bumped one of my songs up earlier, being that the crowd remembered me from my once-a-monther status. Unfortunatly I was alone and didn't have the usual members with me. The night was filled with good cheer though, as I sang the Styx classic, "Come Sail Away." PETE eventually showed up with his new roommate. I watched him boogey down on the dance floor with one of the drunkest girls in the bar, I saw a fight break out between two guys over a beautiful girl, who I proceeded to talk to while the guys were fighting. I made new friends and at the end of the night brought the house down when I sang the last song, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with this guy who sings higher then a man with his balls cut off, "The Chad." It may have been the best performance sans my friends I have had in a long time!

I went to bed happy, and awoke early for the trouble that was my Saturday. PETE actually woke me with a phone call. We were going to see Buffet! I have never been to a Buffet concert before, making me a "Virgin Margarita!" For my first one I have to admit I learned alot. Our friend Fuller met us in the OC and the three of us got lost trying to find the venue. After zigzagging all over the freeways, a quick stop for food at Carl's Jr, we finally found a sign pointing us in the right direction. The parking lot was packed with RV's, grills, utter mayhem and drinking, and this blow up doll that was also a beer bong. It was awsome! We drank Coronas, watched some guys get busted by the cops and then scalped tickets for the show. I even got flashed by a bunch of girls! Our seats were all in different sections, but it didn't matter we were going to stay together no matter what. the first thing we saw as we entered the arena was a sign that said

PETE found the letters "ARR" on the ground and kept jumping in front of people shouting "ARRGGHHH" while flashing the letters. It was pretty funny. When we got into the stadium, they wouldn't let me into the lower section because I had a lawn seating ticket. Fuller very slyly passed me his ticket over the wall and then I got in that way. We ended up having great seats, especially since it started downpouring. So the place emptied out pretty quickly. All in all next time I will be getting a RV for the Buffet concert.

After it was over we drove to my friend who lives in the OC's house and stayed with her. We awoke early the next morning for our drive back to LALALAnd. It was 9:30 AM when I saw the sign for the Beach Blvd. exit. I turned to PETE who was half asleep and said, "You know there is a Portillo's in Buena Park right off that exit. Do you think it is open?" PETE's response,"Stickler I'm not going to stop you if you take me there!" So I quickly swerved off the freeway and we ended up at a closed Portillo's. See were both from Chicago and miss our food, and one never misses out on a oppurtunity to eat some. Which is why we waited the hour for it to open. While waiting we found a Walmart. In this Walmart was a bulk bin of DVD's. All of the DVD's on top were in spanish, but after digging to the bottom we found the motherload of great DVD's that no one had bothered to search for. All priced at less then 4 dollars. It rocked! I came away with Labyrinth and Clue. We then ate the most scrumtuous Chicago food I have had in awhile.

When I got home I slept for 1 hour, then awoke, got showered and all dressed up! I was going to a premiere for Hot Tamale and then an afterparty on a boat! The movie was better then I expected! So I recommend you all see it if you get the chance. Hopefully it will come out on DVD, but who knows maybe in the theaters too? So there you have it, jam packed, exciting weekend!

So if you gave up reading and have skipped down to the last paragraph to see where this story went, here is the summary...I had too eventful of a weekend and now I am going to bed. But before I do if your bored at work I reccommend touching balls! Try to beat my high score of 143 balls touched(or 16288 points)! I'm proud of my ball touching skills and you should be too!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Pass Me Another Beer...

It has happened again...you guessed it another sports article for Rivalfish.com. Please feel free to comment as much as you like. The issue I have touched on is definitly a problem for the College and University system.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Do Not Press The Big Red Button!

I have become addicted to Myspace. Really I only have myself to blame for this, I joined because it was the cool thing to do. Recently I found this in someones comments section. I wanted to share it with all of you. So I repeat do not Press The Big Red Button!

Reesheefeeshee Thursday.

Happy Holidays everyone, today is the greatest holiday of all, and if you don't know what I'm talking about ask your local hippie.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

World Traveler...you'll just have to wait and see!

Yesterday was a big day. Not only did I attend the Cubs victory over the Dodgers (that should be enough for anyone), but I officially started booking things for my two month trip to Europe. Yes, for those of you who don't know, in less then a month I am leaving for Europe. No, its not for work, yes, its for pure enjoyment and understanding of the world. A break from the reality that I have finally come to grips with that is my life.

And it gets even better, my little brother is going to come with me for the first leg of it. I think this adds a delightful twist on the whole situatuion. I have never had the chance to bond with my youngest sibling, mostly because he is 6 years younger then me. During the time of my life when we have actually had things in common, I have lived on the otherside of the world. I am excited and I hope he is too.

So what do I do...I'm going to start in London. We have family there, who hopefully are still there. My brother and I will bum around town for 5 or 6 days, then hop on a ferry to Ireland. We will spend two luxurious days in Dublin, drinking beer, fraternizing with the ladies, and reeking havoc upon this country. Then my little bro will shove off. From there I will jump either on the ferry back to london, or take a direct flight to Amsterdam and join up with a tour group. Which brings me to my question of the day ladies and gentleman of the blogosphere. The place I went to get my International Student ID tried to sell me a tour package through Contiki. I said I would have to think about it, because originally the plan was to just rail around by myself, but after looking at allt hese tours, I could just join one for a part of my trip and at the end continue to travel? Has anyone ever done one of these before? Also any advice on what I should see, where I should go? Should I just get a eurail pass and let the wind take me places, or should I join one of these tours??? Answers people I need answers. Also for the Aussie contingent that reads these posts, I'm sorry I'm not coming to Australia, but maybe next year!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

uh oh, stickler's teaching kids.

Today I taught my first trumpet lessons. I was at an education meeting at a Buddist temple and I was asked by a brother if I could work with the small music workshop they have. When I got there it was two trumpet players, two kids playing bass drum and a flutest whom was running the group. The flute player didn't know what she was doing and had no teaching expirience or any kind of a music education so it was basically up to me to take over. I started with the trumpet players naturally, and I was not entirely sure where I should start with them because they were at such a low level and so much had to be done. So I though for moment about how i only have an hour with these kids so I better leave them with somthing that can enrich them musically and somthing they can practice to help lay a strong foundation for there playing in the future. I thought fundamentals, so told them to put there horns down and I did breathing excersises with them, and showed them the correct way to breath. The next obstical was rythm. Rythm has allways come very naturally so coming up with different ways for them to visualize how to count correctly was difficult. I used the old Rhodes method of having them pulse the rythm while they play with there air. Of course I had to sit down and teach them the concepts of rythm first but that was the easy part. Next was to instruct them to stop thinking linearly with there playing. I told them that when playing higher on the trumpet your not blowing higher your blowing faster, so I had them visualize blowing to reach a distance to try and illiminate tension and give them the concept that will stay with them the rest of there lives. I told one of the kids to try and knock over the wall when he played a high G. There was instant improvement in there playing. There's a lot of shit I wish I could have done better with them but I think I did a pretty good job for my first time.

Friday, April 14, 2006

It's the end of the week as we know it...and I feel fine!


So it's Friday, hooray for Friday! And it's not any ordinary Friday, it's Good Friday! So hopefully everyone is enjoying themselves and prepping for Easter or if your like me starving to death because of Passover. Gotta love Matza!

But since everyone will be busy with Family or activities, I figured I would lighten the mood a little. So when you get bored and need an escape from the reality that is "The Holidays" come to our blog and ask yourselves these questions.

Why is this Blog different from all other Blogs? In our sidebar you can read our "Best of Our Blog!" Taking you back through the history of our site with letters from my sister and me ranting about the ladies.

What is that you say, you've been a loyal follower of this blog for sometime and have already read all those? Well then why don't you scroll down to the bottom of our sidebar and check out "Stickler's Funny Posts" which are things I have written not for this site!

Wait, you have already done that? Ok then below that is "My Friends Funny Posts" things my friends have written. Always there to add a little hilarity into ones day.

Wait, wait...You have read all those too and your wondering why you wasted your time? Well, I'm gonna guess it's because you find me sexy and wanted to learn more about me!

Oh, that's incorrect? You just were trying to figure out where to send hate mail too? I'm hurt, I have even shed a single tear, but you can send that to sticklersworld@gmail.com.

So everyone have a wonderful weekend, if our site doesn't have what your looking for, then move on or click here for The Urban Dictionary. Hours of time wasting stuff, but it's never to late to add to one's vocabulary.

Now where did I hide that Afikomen?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

"I'm going back in time!" (Part 2)

It was a bright and sunny day in Las Vegas. The pimps were pimping their hoes, the crack dealers were laying in the gutter, Old people were dying(literally) to hit that jackpot on the ten million dollar slot and all the visitors were drunker then Tom Cruise's love for Katie Holmes(shudder)! I was even at the craps table, when my cell rang.

"Stickler!"
"yeah. who is this!"
"It's your father!"
"Oh hey Dad, I just lost some money!"
"Well forget about that, I got some tickets to see some comedy tonight, so let's go get sushi and go see these standups!"

And that is what we did. It was funny. If any of you remember Jimmy "J.J." Walker from "Good Times", that is who we went to see! Jimmy is old, I'm sorry to say, and he spent most of the time making fun of the mexicans sitting at the tables around him. It was funny, but I really wonder how many of them were waiting out back for him after the show? We had a good time and I met some of my Dad's clients. They were nice guys, getting up their in age, but nice! It was at this point I realized that everyone around me was kind of older, ok who am I kidding, surpassing me by 20 years!

I had fun though hanging with my Dad, we talked, I filled him in on my life and he did the same back to me! The next day my father awoke early, I awoke late. He was gone the whole day at meetings. So I spent the day relaxing. I started at the wave pool. It would have been fun if I had my surf board and it was kind of cold out. I then took a leisurely stroll down the strip. I gambled a little and learned the pain of watching my money dissapear. It was a weekday so Vegas was kind of empty of people my age, no action for Stickler, but I was here to see my Dad. When my Father got done, he called me and informed me that I should meet him back at the room. We were going to go to dinner and a concert with some of his friends.

I was excited. When we got to the dinner there were about 3000 people there. All of them older and kind of dorky. They are software people what did I expect. We had a nice meal, where my father showed me off and worked the room. It was amazing to watch my Father talk to all these people. I have never actuelly seen him do work before, but I understand why he is successful. We couldn't go four feet without someone screaming out his name. I was proud to be his son.

Then everyone exited the dinner at once to go to this special concert that was being put on for the convention. "Huey Lewis and The News." I got to admit, Huey Lewis totally rocked out. So did all the old folks. I asked all the people around me what the last conert they had seen was, there answers were disturbing, especially since I wasn't alive in the 70's. But watching old people jump around like kids is always a fun time, and seeing my Dad groove out gave me something to use against him the future.

Best Comment of the night my Father made, "So Stickler, cute girl your hitting on."
My answer, "Dad, I wasn't hitting on her, she has a son my age and wanted to know if he would like the music!"
Gotta love Cougars!

All in all it was great to see my father, I got to see him in his element which was new for me. I also got to lose money in Vegas. Who could ask for anything more?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

"I'm going back in time!" (Part 1)

I've been missing in action. I apologize to all my readers, it was one of those spur of the moment things. So to begin by the end of this post you will know who said that quote, so read closely their will be a quiz.

Work over the weekend was long, very long. On Saturday I recieved a call from my father which went along the lines of this.

"Stickler, I'm in Vegas on buisness, come meet me at Mandalay Bay!"

I was really excited; Vegas Baby, Vegas! My unemployment was about to start on Monday and I would be on my way to Vegas to see my father! Who could ask for anything more. Monday morning I got up really early after working relatively late. I jumped in my car after I had run some errands and proceeded to take "The 15" to Las Vegas. My fingers were twitching in excitement of holding a pair of craps die again. I was also excited to see my father, it has been 6 months since our last meeting. All was going according to plan when in the middle of the Mojave desert, miles from anything including an off ramp, all traffic slowed to a stop. A dead stop in the middle of nowhere. Unusual I pondered to myself. After 20 minutes at a dead stop, I got out of my car and looked at all the people playing frisbee on the side of the road. What was going on I started to question, so I turned to my trusty radio.

According to some radio DJ whom I have never heard of; a garbage truck overturned on the freeway, caught on fire, blew up, and sent toxic gas into the air. "The 15" was officially closed until further notice. I swear the desert heat started to ge tto me after the first hour. I had run out of water and I was halucinating. I know this because of the pink elephants on parade that were going by my car. After hour two the urge to pee was so strong I dove behind my car and Pee'd to realize a little to late an old mexican couple was watching me the whole time.

At some point int he next half hour traffic started to move at a crawl. According to the news it was backed up for 50 miles in either direction. It made my thirst for Vegas even stronger as I crawled along at 2 miles per hour. It didn't help that there was also road construction going on in the affected area, causing all traffic to merge to one lane. 7 hours later I arrived, tired, late, ready to gamble. I sat down at the craps table and with a roll of the dice I won 340 dollars. But I got greedy, the wear and tear of the trip had made me want more, had me want to win it all. This is when I lost all my winnings.

The story continues and gets better I promise, but you all will have to wait till tomorrow night for the next chapter!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

What to do for a bachelor party?

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
So tweasure your wuv.

-The Impressive Clergyman (The Princess Bride, 1987)

That movie and all its quotes make me laugh. If you, a loved one, maybe just a complete stranger you just met off the street has not see it, rent it, and watch it now!

As I get older I have started to see major events start occuring more frequently to my friends. Mawage seems to be the one that happens the most. But with marriage comes the night that all guys look forward too. I am talking about the event known as the Bachelor Party. Yes, Ladies I am excluding you from this, it's not that females don't have the all elusive bachelorette party. But from what I have heard of them; they really aren't fun, have something to do with tea and presents, and some fight over someones shoes breaks it up. Please ladies feel free to comment though!

Throughout history, every man has gone through the final moments of worry and angst before forming the unbreakable bond with his lady friend. These are eliviated though by the simple act of all of his friends taking him out, getting him blitzed. So he can have that one last great night of adventure with the guys before he is under house arrest for what seems to be the rest of his life or her life whichever comes first.

The Bachelor Party is no easy undertaking. It must be planned and scrutinized behind the grooms back for months before the actual date. It is hard work, but that is why he has best men. Now having seen many of my good friends get married, I have also been to many bachelor partys. None of which have failed, because whenever you get a group of guys together for a ruckus, your bound to have some fun. The realization that must be made by everyone involved is that the reason for this is to show him the best night possible. Leave all drama at the door, your here for him and maybe have some fun along the way. This event is where it is totally acceptable to act like a a Jack A$$ as much as possible and you will get away with it like your still living int he dorms in college. One where anything that does or does not happen never leaves the group, ever punishable by exclusion by all friends. Unless it is so damn funny it needs to be used against said friend for all eternity. There is always a backdoor in these things(Longly get you head out of the gutter).

Which leads me to my dilemma, my friends and I are stuck for what to do for a bachelor party for a close friend of ours. We know that it will include beer, but what else? What is going to make it special and memorable? The ones I have been to in the past have been amazing, and they didn't even include strippers! I know I should be ashamed of myself. But seriously people I need some help, because I care for my friend and I want to give him one hell of a time to send him on to the rest of his life. And if you met the girl he was marrying you would totally understand(I'm just kidding I love his wife(seriosuly he is screwed(no I really like her(ok maybe when I was 10 I spit in her face but it was totally called for, she pushed me off my bike and poured bucket of water on me!(seriously she is great))))). So that is where I stand I need some help and want some advice?

Note: I am really not a chauvenistic pig, I just play one on TV!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Do you know...

The Muffin Man?


That was not funny, but since I don't have time to write here is some information everyone should know!!!!
On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after
1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again in our lifetime!

I know what your thinking, Your all excited to set you alarm, take a picture, so you can tell your kids where you were!

I will be telling my kids(when I meet a girl and have some someday) I was asleep!