Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Fight of the Ages

Note: Homelessness is a real issue that we all should be trying to fix. This is in no way to make fun of that issue.

I was about 7:15 am and I was walking down a hallway in a decrepit hotel in a sketchy part of town. In front of me there was an elevator. As I approached it, proabably still about 100 feet away, a greying, skinny, homeless man wearing a long yellow rain coat and a miner's helmet with a broken light on it popped out of the elevator. He slowly ambled towards me shouting all type of vulgarities in my direction. I kept moving forward though, I had places to be. And he was just old and crazy.

As he approached me he looked up and says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a police officer."

"Ok" I said, totally confused by this statement.

He then says, "You may go about your business."

So I continued on my path outside of this building. Now if you think this is weird, it's gets so much better. As I exited the hotel to head back to our trailers for the shoot I was on I came across a homeless woman laying half in the gutter, half on the sidewalk. She was rather large, had no shoes but a single sock, and a very large bucket of powdered doughnuts. I assume the doughnuts were how she got so large. She was completely passed out and had remininents of powder doughnut all over her face and hands. It was quite the image and I really wish I had a camera. I left her laying their, because I had work to do and she wasn't bothering anyone yet.

When I came back later I found the old homeless man in a phone booth of the lobby of the hotel. He had the phone in his hand and he was banging it as hard as he could against the glass of the phone booth yet again screaming vulgarities at no one in particuler. I walked outside past the homeless women and was probably about 200 feet away from her when I heard a shreek from behind me.

As I whipped around I saw the homeless man had stolen the big container of powdered doughnuts from the homeless woman. He was shoving them one by one into his mouth as the homeless woman looked on in horror. She then starts screaming at him about how they are hers. He starts calling her a "bitch" and flinging doughnuts at her head. She tried to catch them, succeded in only one, which she hastily shoved into her mouth and then ran straight at him. She lept at him but he side stepped her and she went banging into one of our trucks. He then continued to throw doughnuts at her. All of a sudden she is back in action and grabs him by the waist and takes him to the ground. The fight lasted all of 30 seconds with her on top of him slapping him and then shoving a doughnut in her mouth. When finally the police came and pulled them both off each other. The old homeless man started throwing doughnuts at the cops, they finally threw them both in the back of the police car and drove away.

I'm not sure who won the fight, but it really made for an exciting morning at work.

4 Comments:

Blogger Steph said...

Baahahaha! I love crazy people. yeah i know it's sad and all, but still, they always seem to talk to me. Wonder why that is??? Don't answer that.

April 01, 2006 3:31 AM  
Blogger Stickler said...

Glad you liked it steph, and to not answer your question it is for the same reason all the guys hit on you at bars.

April 01, 2006 9:19 PM  
Blogger Ex-Addict said...

Hilarious!

April 03, 2006 9:06 AM  
Blogger Stickler said...

I should have told the one about the crazy women who walks up this certain street. She takes 3 steps forward and then raises her hadns in the sky screaming at the top of her lungs. Then takes 2 steps backwards and then raises her hand to the sky screaming at the top of her lungs. Then repeats all the way down the block everyday!

April 04, 2006 12:09 AM  

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