Sunday, February 19, 2006

Can someone be too realistic?
I've been fortunate over my years to have been exposed to a very wide variety of musicians. I have gone from art program to art program, from school to school and with these expiriences came the realization that there are a lot of wonderful and amazing musicians out there that can and most likely will tear me apart at an audition. Now with this knowledge one can either A. hide in a corner scared sucking his or her thumb or you can B. say fuck it and do what you love even if it means you never get your dream gig. There is much grey area to these fears, or lack of fear. I happen to be that person who thinks too realisticly and knows just how many bad ass trumpet players there are out there and how many jobs open up every year, but some how manage to keep truckin along. However I constantly try to defeat myself at every turn subconciously. The question i continue to ask myself is how do I put aside reality and do what i love? First i could do a lot of drugs, that usually helps escape reality. Wait no that doesn't work because inevitably you come crashing back to reality and end up making everything a hell of a lot worse (tried it). Second I might be able to take a monkey wrench and beat myself until i'm in a coma or somthing and dream that i'm a success, um well yeah not a good idea.
Maybe my destiny is to fail, then if i succeed in failing i didn't fail at all, i succeeded, because it's impossible to succeed at failing unless your life turns out great and in that case who gives a fuck any way. Failure is all on your perspective of what you want, funny that people who don't have much only want enough to survive and people who start out with a lot dream big and get big. This is because people who don't have much don't have the imagination to dream big because they contiually struggle to get just the basic needs, and thats why the top will allways be on top and the bottom will allways be on the bottom. I'm full of shit of course, there are allways exceptions, like prodigies or hard working ass holes like fuckin Yo Yo Ma (rat bastard and also a prodigie).
I think i should start an organization of half assed musicians who want to kill the musicians with the power to use there full ass(potential). I'll call this group the Kill Yo Yo Ma Organization or the KYYMO for short. My theory is train a bunch of music ed teachers to slowly undermind the education system and neglect or destroy the kids with talent. Thus making room for hard working lazy muther fuckers like ourselves (you know who I'm talking to).
To answer my first question no, you can't be too realistic because nobody knows what the reality of the world is until maybe you've lived it all and at that point you're about to die so it doesn't really matter.

If this rant sounds like complete bullshit, thats probably because it is. I apologize to anyone who read this.


Blogger Stickler said...

To late little Bro, I read it. I think that life is what you make of it. I don't believe that people who are born with money and power are the only ones that make it. They just have an edge. You have to find your edge, your little piece that makes you different and use that to discern yourself from the rest. You always tell me how much better your getting, I'm sure soon people will start to notice. And anyways an organization of that size takes time to set up, you would need a couple of years anyways!

February 19, 2006 11:26 AM  
Blogger youngest stickler said...

Dude your totally right, I said that in my blog. I don't know if you noticed but I was trying to contradict my self on purpose.

February 20, 2006 6:14 PM  
Anonymous Hip E. said...

How about Kill Yo MaMa; KYMM

February 23, 2006 11:27 AM  
Blogger youngest stickler said...

hey dawg, i love my mama, but i'm not against killing other mama's so they can't produce any more compitition for me.

February 24, 2006 6:23 PM  

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