Saturday, February 04, 2006

Am I Too Old to Drink like I am still in College?

No... Of course not. Where would I get that idea from.

But it is something I have been thinking about lately. Next weekend I will be returning to my alma mater to watch an amazing basketball game. As well as partake in some stupid drunkeness. As I have told all my friends, how fun would it be to sleep(?) in the dorms like old times? But am I too old to go back? Will it be weird reliving my glory days, with none of those people around me who graduated with me? Will I still be able to consume more alcohol then people 4 times the size of me(ex. see my picture on the wall of Nicks and the drinking record I hold there.)? And last but not least, will the young coeds find me irresistible because I'm 25 and kind of making it in the world? Only time will tell...

But for now let's talk about what I do know. According to alcohol is bad for you. In college you should not partake in this activity. But I am not here to tell you what you can and can not do, just comment on it. So behold the myths that we have all grown to love about drinking and my comments on them(the type in red so no one gets confused.)

Myth 1
I can drink and still be in control

Drinking impairs your judgement, which increases the liklihood that you will later regret such as having unprotected sex, being involved in date rape, damaging property, or being victimized by others. It's true, I have done all of it but the date rape thing(that is just wrong), and I don't regret it, in fact without me all those old street signs in b-town wouldn't have been replaced with the snazzy new ones, the sex was very unmemorable except for the puking part, and my friends still owe me 40 bucks for the beer.

Myth 2
Drinking isn't all that dangerous.

One in three 18 - 24 year olds admitted to emergency rooms for serious injuries is intoxicated. and alcohol is also associated with homicides, suicides, and drownings. Of course if you have a serious injury your going to be intoxicated, jeez, serious injuries are painful and the alcohol takes that pain away.

Myth 3

I can sober up quickly if I have to.

It takes about 3 hours to eliminate the alcohol content of two drinks, depending on your weight. Nothing can speed up this process-not even coffee or cold showers. But the real question is why would you want to?

Myth 4
It's ok for me to drink to keep up with my boyfriend.

Women process alcohol differently. No matter how much he drink, if you drink the dam amount as your boyfriend, you will be more intoxicated and more impaired. Good to know, ladies how about another drink.

Myth 5
I can manage to drive well enough after a few drinks.

About one-half of all fatal traffic crashes among 18-to 24- year olds involve alcohol. If you are under 21, driving after drinking any alcohol is illegal and you could lose your license. The risk of a fatal crash for drivers with positive BACs compared with other drivers increases with increasing BAC, and the risks increase more steeply for drivers younger than age 2 than for older drivers. I did not understand any of that, but get a cab. It makes drinking more fun. Or jump on random buses sometimes those make amazing adventures.

Myth 6
I'de be better off if I learn to "hold my liquor."

If you have to drink increasingly larger amounts of alcohol to get a "buzz" or get "high," you are developing tolerance. Tolerance is actuelly a warning sign that you're developing more serious problems with alcohol. Or maybe it means your having a really fun time in college.

Myth 7
Beer doesn't have as much alcohol as hard liquor.

A 12-ounce bottle of beer has the same amount of alcohol as a standard shot os 80-proof liquor (either straight or in a mixed drink) or 5 ounces of wine. And that is why you take shots, so you don't get filled up on all the beer.

So I hope you all have a wonderful drinking experience in college and post college. I know I am and I can't wait to tell all the stories associated with it.


Blogger lil miss stickler said...

i would just like to say that you are the dumbest fuck ever.. that was the stupidest shit i've ever read you fucking alch-y.

your sis

February 06, 2006 7:07 AM  
Blogger Stickler said...

Ahhh, I don't see you writing anything better!

Your Brother

February 06, 2006 10:06 AM  
Anonymous thrill said...

Don't listen to her, Stickler. That was good stuff.

February 06, 2006 2:02 PM  
Blogger Stickler said...

Thrill, if you get a chance I reccommend trying an absinthe called Nouvelle-Orleans. Trust me, expensive but oh so good.

February 06, 2006 2:23 PM  

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