Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The end of February!

Today is the end of February, which means rent checks. I am looking forward to March and my next great adventure, finding a new place to live. One month and counting let the great apartment hunt begin!

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Originally uploaded by stickpot.
Crazy gig at bar

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sometimes funny things happen...

Today I had a rather funny thing happen. At work, we had sushi for lunch. I love sushi, it is so good, especially when it is all free. My boss B was sitting across from me. The guy who had gotten both of us the jobs on the show were currently working on walks over eating a piece of shrimp. Now he is a really small guy who thinks he is the big man of the show, when really he isn't. In fact he can be kind of annoying sometimes, but regardless he got me the job and I do respect him for that.

He looks at us, stops, and takes the tail of the shrimp out of his mouth and asks, "Is this trash" simultaniously throwing the tail on top of B's food. She just kind of looks in awe as he doesn't even wait for a reply and walks away. B then looks at me and says, "Was that a drive by shrimping?" I laughed realizing her play on words and said, "yes that is exactly what that was." I then cracked up, she looked at me and says, "what?" I said, "what you didn't even get your joke?" Then she laughes and says, I didn't even realize I said that. Life is funny that way sometimes.

Sushi always reminds of me of a particular chain of moments in my life. I'm sure all people react the same way to certain objects, tastes, smells, etc... In fact this quote my mother sent me on a card today pretty much sums that up,

we do not remember days...

we remember moments.

-cesare pavese


But sushi reminds me of Debbie. Now to fully understand Debbie, I have to explain how we met. Even my best friends don't know about Debbie, so this story will probably be new to alot of you.

When I first moved to LaLaLand, I really didn't know anyone. I was living with my roommate from colleges Sister and her Fiance to save them on their rent while they saved for their wedding. One day I was talking to one of my friends, let's call her Meredith. She was one of my best friends from college, we met freshman year and had stayed close ever since. She starts telling me all about how she has this friend in LA who I need to meet. How we would hit it off and be perfect for each other. She then informed me that she would give me her phone number and I should just call her out of the blue. I said to Meredith, "Are you kidding, if you want me to meet Debbie, you need to do this, I am not calling her up and explaining how you gave me her number because since were both friends with you we should be friends."

Meredith said ok, and the next morning in my e-mail inbox, was a message addressed to Debbie and I from Meredith. It said this:

To my two best friends,

Hey guys, I just wanted to write and tell you both how much I miss you. Also since you are both my best friends and the greatest people I know I think you should meet since you both live in LA. So here is each others contact info now be friends and who knows maybe you will hit it off.

Meredith


Yes, I deleted three sentences with contact info in it, but seriously who does that? So I read this e-mail again and then my phone rings. Seriously it rang and I picked up my phone and guess what it was Debbie. I was surprised and I think I stuttered on the phone. She seemed like a normal girl and it turns out Debbie and I had the same conversation with Meredith about how we were not going to call the other out of the blue. But since she figured I would never have the guts to call she would call first. I could tell immeadiatly that Debbie was someone I wanted to get to know because she flat out called me out before she even knew me.

Now our conversation turned into how we should meet. I told her that this guy I know was performing at an Open Mic at a bar called Dublin's in Hollywood(Note: this is the old Dublin's before it closed and moved into the center of Hollywood). I asked her if she would like to go with me to it, since like I said before I really didn't know many people. So in 3 days on a Tueday night we had planned to meet in front of Dublin's, where she would call me on my phone when she arrived.

So for the next three days the guys I was working with at the time started saying things like, "Wow Stickler, going on a blind date?" "Aren't you scared she will be a dawg." Yes, I know terrible, but guys have a tendency to think this way when they don't know what is coming. I started to get worried, what had I gotten myself into? Did Meredith know what she was doing? Does she even know what type of girls I like? Was this a date?

Well, Tuesday came. I'm waiting in front of Dublin's, I was nervous, even more nervous then when I had to meet the school bully after school. I was shaking nervous. I calmed myself and my cell phone rang. It was Debbie, she was walking up the driveway. Suddennly time started to slow down as I turned my head. There in the driveway was a girl who must have easily weighed 500 pounds. She was rolling towards me, becuase there is no way anything that large could support it's weight on its legs. I was scared! Questions started flying through my head, what should I do? Damn you Meredith what were you thinking? Now realize, I'm a small guy. I'm not mean I would have made the best of the situation, I would have been a gentleman. But you all know the exact same thing would have been going through your head too.

As the behemoth started to get closer and closer I could feel the sweat pouring down my back. And then all of a sudden the large mound of flesh turned left. And behind her, masked from view was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. She had jet black, long hair. Sparkling blue eyes, and a smile that sent me to a state of bliss. She walked forwards gave me a hug and introduced herself as Debbie.

That night couldn't have gone better. If I didn't mention before my comedian friend is Dane Cook. So I took her to an awsome show where she got to meet and hang out with some amazing comedians. We got to talk and have a few drinks. We had a ton in common. It was a great night. The next day before I even had a chance to comprehend what happened the night before, she called me to tell me she had a wonderful time and how we should go to dinner on friday night. And that is how I met Debbie. Why does sushi remind me of Debbie you ask? Well, that is a story for another night folks, and I promise it is a good one.

Sis Read This!

Please write about Sweeney Todd!!!!! I got the CD from Mom, awsome! Tell Ben Awsome, tell him that he should tell Lauren I still think she is cute and eventually I will be back in NY so we can continue the flirting we started on the street.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

A quote

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter!"

- E. E. Cummings

Friday, February 24, 2006

a late afternoon at school

I have been told I don't contribute enough to this blog, so here is a ramblin story of epic proportions. My story begins on a front porch of an old fraternity buddy of mine early in the afternoon. I'm drunk of course and wearing a giant sombrero. Then I wake up and I'm back in Chicago. Coming back to the reality that is the boring english lecture, but lucky for me the class had just ended.
Walking out of the class I'm side swiped by a captivating girl. I dropped my books on purpose which got her attention, the second she turned around I immediately regreted that decision. She was what we all know as the dreaded butter face. Of course since I had only looked at her fine lookin rump I got her attention before I saw the complete picture. This is 15 minutes of pure torrment, as she tries to introduce her self and go through all that small talk bullshit. I'm not completely vain so I paid attention to what she was saying for about 30 seconds before I tuned out her story of how her clarinet teacher just failed her... back on the porch sipin a margarita and smokin a fatty, life is grand... 'bam' I fell over cause I fell asleep during this girls story. The girl was very red in the face, well I think she was at least. I couldn't really see her face behind all the pot marks, but she didn't seem to notice that I fell asleep. All she saw was me fall down, she immediately came to my side and this gave me the perfect exit strategy. I told her I needed to go to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding. Thank god she didn't wait for me outside. At last I was free, to finally practice. I got to the basement and pulled out my 1949 Mont Vernon Bach Stradavarious Custom with the 25h Ken Larson custom lead pipe. Practicing has become my greatest comfort zone where when I play I can imagine my self playing anywhere... back on the porch this time I've got my trumpet blowing an old Clifford Browne solo I transcriped weeks before. The sun is hot but not too hot, I'm still wearing the sombrero, and when that comes to my attention my solo changes, suddenly I'm ripping licks like Arturo Sandavol playing so loud that I blew up the skirt of the Chakita Bannana Girl who was dancing around ever so gracfully, but the sun suddenly goes down and Ron Carter and Tony Williams are beside me playing a fast pychefunkadelic afro cuban groove with a touch of cool bop on top. My playing suddenly transformes into a combonation of Miles' style and Roy Hargroves gorgeous sound. The porch is filled with tables, chairs and young hipsters listening intently, waiting for that new sound, that inspiration that moves us all and takes us to that emtional peak which trancends anything else in life, cause dream and memory are intermixed in this mad universe and art is the only way to communicate that.
My practice session ends with me feeling complete and ready to travel home to my apartment in China town, where I expect to fall asleep and dream dreams.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Oh so tired!

I'm tired. So tired...

What a day, let me first state: Sis I am so sorry I whispered and then blew you off on the phone. That is why I texted you later: "I Luv U!" This day started bad and went to worse.

To explain, I am good at my job. Ok, I'm really good at my job. In fact currently in my job I am one of the most sought after people for performing my job. Really not conceited just stating the truth. I'm a stickler for the truth sometimes(unless you read you read my sidebar). Anyways I hate being told how to do my job. I'm sure this happens to everyone sometimes. Where someone who is younger, immature, but has senority at the job tries to tell you how to do the job you have been doing really well for longer then that person has been working in your industry. Well that happened today.

So tired. I hate stepping on peoples toes too. If they have been their longer I let them take the lead. But then they go an f&*# it all up, and I don't do anything about it, because I don't want to show them up. Then my bosses who have worked with me in the past say things like, "Stickler, I know you can solve those problems quicker and better what gives?" And then I have to BS my way out of it.

I am tired. Which brings me to today. It started with me being told I couldn't put coffee in a van, because it might spill everywhere. What??? are you kidding me, that is why I created the really cool saran wrap lids for the said coffee cups. Then I watched as things went wrong because the other guy had to do things backasswards. Ending my day with being the last person at work, taking a van to my car, to find the parking structure locked. Then searching around for a security guard in a school 8 blocks away from the parking garage to give me a clicker so I could open the gate to get my car, after working a 15 hour day. and then drive home so I can write this and clear my mind so I can sleep.

I'm tired, but don't worry back to work in 7 hours where more fun and exciting things await me. Stay tuned for tomorrows post which I promise will be good, entitled "Background, or as I call them "Cattle"!"

Little Zagreb, Where Steak Was Invented!

Longly sent this to me today. If you didn't go to school at IU, you don't what you are missing. Words cannot express the loss I suffered when reading this. I just hope future carnivourous generations of people will get to experience the same steak that I experienced in my life.

Owner of Janko's Little Zagreb steakhouse dies in house fire
SPENCER, Ind. - John Pouch, the owner of Janko's Little Zagreb restaurant in
Bloomington, was found dead inside his rural Owen County home following a
fire, friends said.
Pouch, 62, told friends Sunday that he was preparing to fix dinner and drink
some wine, said Mark Conlin, the manager of the popular steakhouse.
"He said, 'See you tomorrow' before we hung up, and tomorrow never came,"
Conlin said.
Three hours later, Pouch was found dead just inside the doorway of his home
by firefighters.
An autopsy was scheduled for Tuesday. The cause of the fire had not been
determined.
The restaurant was closed Monday, but was scheduled to reopen Tuesday. "Tell
people we aren't going anywhere," Conlin said.
Pouch's brother opened the restaurant in the early 1970s, Conlin said. Pouch
took it over a few years later and turned it into a steakhouse.
"Their heritage is Yugoslavian, and Janko means "little John," which is what
they called him," Conlin said. "At first it was a place for sports fans to
come, and the steaks seemed to go over very well, and it blossomed and
became an institution in Bloomington."
Janko's was a familiar place for many Indiana University athletes, said
Harold Mauro, the university's director of football operations.
"He was a good man, and a good supporter of IU athletics. He'll be very much
missed," Mauro said.


Now don't get me wrong here, but I guarentee that fire was started by one of those steaks! Pouch You will be missed as will your steak!

Monday, February 20, 2006

I hate being Sick!

So I've been sick all weekend. I'm still technically sick right now, I have a chest cold. For me those have always kind of scared me. Once when I was younger I got a chest cold that developed into pneumonia and then I was out of school for a month. But this is now, when thanks to president's day I have a long weekend to recouperiate. So tomorrow, after I am out of the nyquil coma that I have been in for 3 days I will write again! So till then something for all of you to think on. Why are children of today so different from when I was younger? Why do I hate them so, and wish they respected their elder's more? Why won't the kids who play X-Box live learn that good sportsmanship is not using profanity and when you win not calling the other team a bunch of mother f&*@**'s? Is it their parents fault? Or is it society's?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Can someone be too realistic?
I've been fortunate over my years to have been exposed to a very wide variety of musicians. I have gone from art program to art program, from school to school and with these expiriences came the realization that there are a lot of wonderful and amazing musicians out there that can and most likely will tear me apart at an audition. Now with this knowledge one can either A. hide in a corner scared sucking his or her thumb or you can B. say fuck it and do what you love even if it means you never get your dream gig. There is much grey area to these fears, or lack of fear. I happen to be that person who thinks too realisticly and knows just how many bad ass trumpet players there are out there and how many jobs open up every year, but some how manage to keep truckin along. However I constantly try to defeat myself at every turn subconciously. The question i continue to ask myself is how do I put aside reality and do what i love? First i could do a lot of drugs, that usually helps escape reality. Wait no that doesn't work because inevitably you come crashing back to reality and end up making everything a hell of a lot worse (tried it). Second I might be able to take a monkey wrench and beat myself until i'm in a coma or somthing and dream that i'm a success, um well yeah not a good idea.
Maybe my destiny is to fail, then if i succeed in failing i didn't fail at all, i succeeded, because it's impossible to succeed at failing unless your life turns out great and in that case who gives a fuck any way. Failure is all on your perspective of what you want, funny that people who don't have much only want enough to survive and people who start out with a lot dream big and get big. This is because people who don't have much don't have the imagination to dream big because they contiually struggle to get just the basic needs, and thats why the top will allways be on top and the bottom will allways be on the bottom. I'm full of shit of course, there are allways exceptions, like prodigies or hard working ass holes like fuckin Yo Yo Ma (rat bastard and also a prodigie).
I think i should start an organization of half assed musicians who want to kill the musicians with the power to use there full ass(potential). I'll call this group the Kill Yo Yo Ma Organization or the KYYMO for short. My theory is train a bunch of music ed teachers to slowly undermind the education system and neglect or destroy the kids with talent. Thus making room for hard working lazy muther fuckers like ourselves (you know who I'm talking to).
To answer my first question no, you can't be too realistic because nobody knows what the reality of the world is until maybe you've lived it all and at that point you're about to die so it doesn't really matter.

If this rant sounds like complete bullshit, thats probably because it is. I apologize to anyone who read this.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Lost in Life and the Story of Downs

Since I have to work on Friday I figured I would post this a day early. I have found writing on this thing to be rather therapeutic. See my problem lately has been my inability to figure out what the next step in my life will be. Actuelly this has been a problem for a year now. Everytime I think I have it figured out, the next day, BAM, I'm lost again. While growing up things were easy, their always seemed to be a next step, a next rung on the ladder of life to grab on to. For example, all through grade school you wanted to get to junior high, then in junior high all you could think about was moving onto highschool, then getting your drivers license, to graduation, to going to college, to turning 21 so you can drink that beer legally, to graduating college, and then getting that first job, then turning 25 so you can rent a car, but then what comes next?

Some existential writers like to refer to this as your quarter life crisis. I even suppose their is an entire book out there on the subject. I belive that at this point in our lives is when we look back at all our life experiences and figure out what makes us happy and start doing that. I guess what I can't figure out is what makes me happy, because everything is so dissapointing sometimes. At first it was to excel in my job, which I have to admit has not been the easiest of tasks. But looking back at where I started four years ago I definitly have made some rather large leaps. Unfortunatly I find myself at a place where I am standing still, with no clear path to show me how to get to whereever I need to go to next. It is kind of disconcerting to be at this place. It is also really hard to write about this without giving any real clues as to where I am going, all I know is am lost and it seems I don't know what will make me happy.

But the one thing I have learned is that life is too short, we must keep on livin', enjoying everyday to its fullest. Getting out there and making mistakes, because it is not the end of the world. Which brings me to my friend Downs. Downs left I think yesterday on a trip that I am envious of him for taking. He's out there living life to its fullest and having a great adventure. So I wanted to tell the one story that always cheers me up.

When I was 17, right after graduation from highschool. I know what your thinking I had one of those late birthdays, it's true I did. I had a group of friends from highschool who will forever be my friends. One day we decided to go hear the "Mighty Blue Kings" play at Ravinia. This is an outdoor music ampetheater on the northwest side of the city of Chicago. The group consisted of Me, Downs, Giles, PETE, and Fuller. We all met at Giles' house around 3:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon. Where we loaded a cooler full of beer, a hibachi, all types of meat and vegtables into Downs' trunk. We were ready to grill out on a grassy field and listen to some awsome swing/blues music. I will never forget these words leaving Downs' mouth as we got into his car, "Don't worry guys I prepared the burgers with my secret onion soup treatment." What a great day we had in store for ourselves.

Now to fully understand this story you must understand Downs. Downs had a crappy car, still has a crappy car, in fact I think it is the same crappy car. Downs basically has the worst luck out of anyone I have ever met. Once he was driving by a bar, hadn't even gone into the bar, wasn't even speeding, and he still got pulled over by the cops. Or the time Downs was driving and Giles stuck his hand out the window of his car and started hitting the side of the car, so Downs would think his car was breaking down. When Downs' realized it was only Giles he screams, "Dude don't do that! The car door will fall off." Giles laughed and said, "that won't happen" and then the car door fell off. Their are many more stories like this, but I think these clarify Downs. By the way I love you buddy.

So anyways Downs was driving us to Ravinia. When we got there, we unloaded everything. Now to get into Ravinia you have to park miles away and take a tram to the actual gate. So we had a lot of stuff to carry from where we parked to where the tram would pick us up at. Downs and I were carrying the rather large cooler full of beer. Now let me reiterate, we were 17, definitly to young to be drinking. Now as we came to the last corner before the trams, Downs saw some attractive women. So grabbed the whole cooler from me and slung it up on his shoulder to impress them.

Everything at this point went in slow motion. I remember all of us saying, "No Downs! Don't do it!" "It's to heavy you'll drop it!" "Noooooo!" Next thing you know Downs takes two steps and the whole cooler comes spilling off his shoulder onto the ground. Best part we were in the middle of the street, Oh wait it's get's better. We also happened to be at the top of a rather large hill. And if life couldn't get any worse, ice and beer went screaming down the hill and it all came to rest at the foot of a police officer.

Now I know what you are thinking, Wow! What could possibly have happened next!

Well the gods were looking down on us this day! The police officer helped us put everything in the cooler and then wished us a good time at the concert. I know, I still can't believe it. We managed to get to the concert ok, and we staked our claim on this great piece of grass. We pulled out the habachi and Giles started grilling Steaks, Burgers, and Chicken. Then as we all cracked open our first beer to toast we were swarmed by security.

It was like that episode of Seinfeld, when Jerry's uncle is stealing books from the book store and all the security are like, "On my mark, swarm, swarm!" We quickly hid the beer, but the security informed us they were their for an entirely different purpose. I guess you are not allowed to grill on the premisies. It is a fire hazard or something along those lines. But the reaction from the lead security officer was classic, he says and I quote, " Wow is that steak, ooo and chicken. Oh man that smells good, wait is that some sort of special sauce, aww I'm sorry. Oh I am sooo sorry." he then informed us that after the concert was over as long as we were outside the gates we could grill.

The concert was good, we danced, we drank, we had alot of fun. When it was over we walked exactly three steps outside the gate, saw the line for the tram and then set up camp. Giles started grilling like it was nobody's buisness because we were right outside the gate and had no idea how long it would be till they told us to leave. We were sitting their and everyone who was in the long line for the tram was drunkingly yelling at us that they would pay us for the food we were cooking. Instead we just kept on eating and drinking. We closed Ravinia, in fact Downs and I took the last tram back to get the car and then drove the car up to the gate so we could continue to grill in the dark. Not only that after everyone left we ran through the festival grounds and found wine in the box, which we took back to our camp. It was the best night I have ever had, and whenever I get sad, lonely, depressed, or just can't make it I remember this and think about how great life can be sometimes.

Cassie Johnson I think I love you!


I have decided that curling is my new sport of choice. Currently I am watching women's curling and who knew how attractive the team skip was. Cassie Johnson who hails from the very small town of Bemidji, Minnesota. Which is found pretty close to the Canadian border, she even went to college there and is only one year younger then myself. Playing as her vice skip, her sister Jamie is not so bad looking either except for the fact that she is engaged making her ineligable for my taste. So Cassie if you ever happen upon my website, which I doubt you will, how about dinner sometime? We could talk of the multitiude of black bear that live in Minnesota. Or maybe even how the "Wild" are doing this year in hockey. Maybe you could even explain curling to me, since I still am having trouble understanding it. Pardon if I get distracted by your Minnesota accent, I find it attractive. Especially when you say things like "How a boot another beer." Or "thars a bar over dar." Well you can all judge for yourselves but I think I'm in love.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Broadcasting of The Olympics or The Broadcasting of the already happened-ics.

Today, I am yet again not working. Don't worry I'm used to the life of freelancing, I understand that occasionally their will be the odd week of no work and then a week where work consumes my life to the point where I sleep 3 hours total. Yesterday was such a long day I decided not to work today, got up late, and turned on the TV to find afternoon Olympic coverage of Men's Curling. My day was set, with beer in hand I cheered on the U.S. Men's Team! Until the large light bulb in my head turned on. It was so bright I turned away from the television and went to the internet. I thought; "I know nothing of curling, I should learn the rules!" A moment later I was sailing across the super information highway at speeds so fast I'm sure the cops were having trouble keeping with me. Once at the official website I began to scour the page for rules, until my eyes fell upon an extremely large headline; Men's Team loses to Italy 5-6. Oh man am I pissed, I was currently watching the US team make their comeback from 2 down to find out it was fruitless. So I wasn't happy, but then I made a bigger mistake. I clicked on hockey to see stats on the team, so as to get ready for the game at midnight on Wednesday, only to find out the game was actuelly played at noon today! NOOOOOOOOOOO! I was looking forward to this game and I missed it only to find out that USA tied with Latvia. NBC and The Olympics you have screwed my Olympic watching by lying to me about when the live event times are and putting things on the internet before they are broadcast. For that I will forever hold you responsible and you owe me, oh you owe me big time! So how about a job?

Monday, February 13, 2006

New and Improved

So a number of people keep sending coments to my e-mail address. I don't mind, but this gave me an idea, so welcome to our new and improved e-mail address!!! Yep, now you can send us comments in e-mail too. So if the topics of discussion have been aggravating you let me know. Or maybe you just want to ask me personal questions, bring em on. Or maybe you want to send me a valentines card, I say go write ahead. So click on the link here sticklersworld@gmail.com or click on the link in our side bar. Happy commenting everyone.

Friendship, The 511, and My Trip Down Memory Lane

Friends come and go throughout life. I can't count the multitudes of people that I will never see again, fallen off the edge of the earth or maybe just out of my life. Their are friends though that stick with you through everything, know your deepest secrets, and make you laugh when the world has you firmly by the balls. My friends from my childhood will always be my friends, but this isn't a post about them. No, this is a post about the guys I met in college and the bond I will have with them forever. This past weekend I spent with 3 of my best friends, roommates, I even call them family from time to time. I couldn't imagine life without them. And so begins my story of my weekend in B-Town.
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One of my old roommates, Sirot, was not able to make it to our weekend extravaganza. Instead his wife went into labor on friday night. So congratulations are in order for Sirot and his wife. As of Sunday morning he is the proud father of a 5 pound 7 ounce baby boy named Benjamin. Sirot I couldn't be more proud for you buddy and don't worry we toasted you like a thousand times.

I spent the weekend with friends getting drunk, watching basketball, reliving my glory days. I have now officially rewritten this post about 8 times and it has to do with the fact that I don't know how to put into words my weekend with my friends. Their is no way to explain it, so look at the pictures and see for yourself how much fun it was. And thank you to all the people of IU that made the weekend memorable. Especially that girl in the bar that threw a bar stool at me. Dont worry no one got hurt, she collapsed on the floor and passed out after it happened. Anyways it was a great weekend and I learned that no matter how much you want to go back and make it all the same that will never happen again, but you can at least have fun trying.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

hakunafuckingmatata

ok, so i've been informed that more and more people have been venturing on to this fabulous blog lately, and i'd like to apologize for my lack of presence the past few months.

not much that exciting is going on in my life at the moment.. besides getting fired from my bartending job, only to pick up another one working at the LION KING. i could go on about how the lion king sucks, and how disney sucks, and how they pay me WAAAY less than minimum wage and i only make roughly 10 dollars in tips, and that if i want to see the show i have to pay, so all i've actually seen is hakuna matata and only because its right before intermission and i have to move my cart full of 'sweet' concessions out into the back of the house, but i'll spare you. SOOO, that job blows.
BUT, i just got another job, waitressing, and i hope that this job will prove to be a little bit more finacially beneficial.

um... i'm pretty fucking boring.

i've been setting up my boyfriends myspace account for him.. mine has kind of fallen on the wayside.. but, eh.. whatever.. people seem to want to be his myspace buddy a little more than mine at the moment, so i'll advertise for it now. go to myspace.com/benjaminmagnuson it's a thrilling website. OR go to mine myspace.com/iamnotyourhobo

ANYWAY.. i have to go and serve overpriced alcoholic beverages out of plastic lion king cups with lids and straws to rich uncultured fucks that would pay 100 dollars to see a piece of shit theatre when they could spend the same amount of money and see something that might actually inspire them or move them in anyway, like sweeney todd(my poor attempts at advertisement for ben's show).... so go see good theatre, and feel bad for me cuz i've gotta listen to hakunafuckingmatata one more time.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Short Post Before a Great Adventure

So I'll make this quick, as I am already am late for my flight. I'm heading to Bloomington this weekend for some basketball. I'm so excited! Oh, the stories I will tell when I return, hopefully they will include us beating Iowa. But I will leave you all with yet another funny thing from "The Phat Phree." By The way make sure you read all the teen testimonials. Classic.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Sage grows very easily in Italy.


This is something I learned today on my favorite show "Everyday Italian" with
Giada De Laurentiis. While I was in NY for New Years, my friend Giles was watching this show. He in fact Tivo'd the show.

I exclaimed, "Wow, I watch that show too."
He replied, "I don't know a single guy that doesn't watch this show."

Because if you can't tell by her picture; Giada is a pretty attractive woman, and she can cook authentic italian food like no other. I have learned so much from this beautiful woman and if I met her on the street I think I would drop down on one knee and propose.

Italian food has always been important to my life, now I'm not Italian or anything but I have ties to the Italian world. My sister, brother, and best friends Giles and Downs have all worked at the best Italian Deli in the city of Chicago. It is called "Alpine Food Shop." In fact currently I am wearing my Alpine Food Shop t-shirt that I stole from my little brother last time i was in town. Sorry bro, your not getting it back. But Alpine Food Shop is an amazing place and if your ever in Chicago I reccommend you go there. First you must wait in the long line that goes out the door and then get yourself an Alpine(this is a type of a sandwich they make). You will be ordering from a number of cool disgruntled sandwich makers who are quick with the slicer, so watch your fingers. The Alpine is an amazing sandwich, now don't put mayo or mustard on it, just get the sauce put on it. Then get a small order of potato salad. This potato salad is no ordinary potato salad, it is made by these old women in the back who speak no english. It is also the greatest potato salad your mouth will ever taste. Also be aware of Mob Bosses who get in line, they have the right of way.

After you have finished this meal I reccommend walking the three blocks east on North Avenue to "Johnnies" yet another Italian landmark becuase of their Italian Beef Sandwiches and Italian Ice. Yet again wait in a line that is longer then the block is long, and then order. As you approach the register hope that a man larger then the store is wide is standing there. Like when ordering from the Soup Nazi on "Seinfeld" their is a system. Don't look Johnnie in the eye and say, Juicy Beef Sweet please with a Small Ice. This means you will be getting a dipped beef sandwich with sweet peppers and a small italian ice. Other variations could be Dry Beef Hot, or even Juicy Combo Sweet and Hot. Don't forget the ice becuase it is important for all the taste sensations to be correct. And remember this place gets closed down for health violations once a month, So if your food comes sans one of Jonnies long hairs on it, send it back because it was not created by the master. And enjoy.

As you can tell, I'm homesick for the food. You just can't get food in LA like you can in Chicago. Or if you know of food that I can get tell me about it? I'm getting hungry over here and I'm always up for some new culinary adventures. And if your a cute girl I may even take you along on such an adventure.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Missed Opportunity

I am clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. I'll be totally honest with you, yes you the readers of this blog. My friends already know this fact. I think my friend Downs put it best in an e-mail he sent to my old friends from highschool:

Congratulations are in order to Stickler for getting
to "Stickler First Base" with Kate Hudson. As we
know, the traditional base system has been amended in
terms of Stickler. First Base is a hug, no more no
less, and it doesn't matter who the hug is initiated
by. Second base is a backhand touching of the breast
when pretending to reach for an adjacent item on the
catering cart. Third base is convincing a chick that
he played lacrosse at Indiana. A Home Run is fitting
her entire body in his freezer.

Well, not the most flattering thing someone has written about me, but I know it is full of love. Anyways, like I said not the best with the opposite sex. Well, today I think I made a mistake or maybe just missed an oppurtunity. But you can decide, kind of like a choose your own adventure.

I went to the gym this morning to work out, the one major problem with my gym is that it costs money to park in the parking structure, so usually I try to find a space a block away and walk. I'm going to the gym anyways, so I consider the walk a kind of a warm-up. Anyways today when I walked in the front entrance of the gym their was a cute girl behind the counter. Of course I had just woken up, my hair was a mess, and I had a nice coat of stuble on my face. But regardless she greeted me with a smile as I handed her my membership card. She then goes, "do you have an ID with you as well." I will never understand why they ask for a picture ID as well, when you are handing them your membership card in the first place. I think to remedy this the gym should put your picture on your ID. What happens if one day I don't bring my ID with me, that won't happen, but what if? Are they just not going to let me in? Regardless, she looked at my ID and then she says,

"So do you prefer Josh or Joshua?"
I said, "Well, it doesn't matter me to me, which do you think I should go with?"
She replied, "I like Joshua better."
"Then so be it, I'm Joshua"
At this she giggled and then said, "So Joshua where are you from in Chicago?"
I told her and then she told me about her sister who lived there. I ended the conversation by saying, "yeah, it's a great big city." and walked away.

Now my question, did I miss an opportunity? I wasn't flirting! I should have been, she was a pretty cute girl. Is it OK to hit on someone while they are working? Was she interested in me at all? If I had said something what should I have said? What if when I go tomorrow morning the same girl is working? Would it be ok to ask her to lunch? Where do we draw the line at social interactions in work places that deal with the public? What if she shoots me down and then I have to see her everytime I go to the gym? I realize this is all moot now, but what should I do, I want your opinion.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Bro, You Gotta Live With us!

I can't even begin to explain this, just read. The author of the creation was Pete from The Jo-Tel and this has all been compiled by a friend of ours Thrill. Thanks Thrill and Pete for making life just a little bit funnier!

I love you clickable Sharpie!


In my everyday life, like all people of the age of 25, I use certain office tools to make my life easier. One of these being the Sharpie! What a magical creation this simple marker has become, the way it draws and writes with such clarity. All the assortment of colors that exist. Since I started working the one thing that has been consistent to my day to day tools of the trade, are the red, black, and silver Sharpies that reside in my right side pocket. Yes, they have been replaced over and over, but they are always there. At the ready in case someone needs to mark something on gaff tape or a call sheet needs to be pushed (industry terms I don't expect any of you to understand).

At first I found no flaws with the sharpie, till the day I lost the cap to the red one and it left a permanent red stain on the pocket of my jeans. But oh Sharpie creator, you figured out how to solve that problem. Yes, the clickable Sharpie. This simple solution has taken milliseconds off my sharpie usage , averaging about 1 minute more a week I can stair at the wall aimlessly when I have nothing to do. But even with this incredible invention their is a flaw. Yes, a flaw and I question why? Why when I try to write on a wall that has non-graffiti paint on it, my Sharpie dies. It won't write on these walls, and then it kills the Sharpie so you can't write on anything else. Why? Sometimes in my line of work we must write on walls, but this improvement has made me( I mean the production company) have to spend more money on Sharpies. Can't we do something about this? Can't we me make Sharpies able to write with ease on any surface? Why the conspiracy? Who is making money from this? These questions I bring to you the public, ask them because without Sharpies we will have to revert back to the Crayola marker of childhood, which is just so unprofessional.

Monday, February 06, 2006

The great Friendster experiment

Due to my lack of motivation to do anything but sit on my couch, I have taken to scouring the pages of Friendster. By the way sis, I enjoyed the updates and pictures. Bro, you need to do a little work on yours. I realized that I have never actually used friendster to meet anyone. I just use it to find all the people I have lost over the years. But it made me wonder can I meet someone on friendster? What would happen? Would I become friends with them based on how funny, witty, and sarcastic their profile was? Would they look like their picture? Would my friends actually hook me up with their friends? Could I find that one person that we all search for?

Which begins the great friendster experiment. The minute I finish with this post, I am going to write an e-mail to a girl I do not know on friendster. I'm crossing into new boundaries here. I mean if online dating places such as match.com or eharmony.com can boast that this is the new trend in dating, then why can't friendster be used for the same thing. And you the readers will be their every step of the way.

Update* I have initiated contact with a smile. She looked at my profile. Let the e-mails begin.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Am I Too Old to Drink like I am still in College?

No... Of course not. Where would I get that idea from.

But it is something I have been thinking about lately. Next weekend I will be returning to my alma mater to watch an amazing basketball game. As well as partake in some stupid drunkeness. As I have told all my friends, how fun would it be to sleep(?) in the dorms like old times? But am I too old to go back? Will it be weird reliving my glory days, with none of those people around me who graduated with me? Will I still be able to consume more alcohol then people 4 times the size of me(ex. see my picture on the wall of Nicks and the drinking record I hold there.)? And last but not least, will the young coeds find me irresistible because I'm 25 and kind of making it in the world? Only time will tell...

But for now let's talk about what I do know. According to collegedrinkingprevention.gov alcohol is bad for you. In college you should not partake in this activity. But I am not here to tell you what you can and can not do, just comment on it. So behold the myths that we have all grown to love about drinking and my comments on them(the type in red so no one gets confused.)

Myth 1
I can drink and still be in control

Drinking impairs your judgement, which increases the liklihood that you will later regret such as having unprotected sex, being involved in date rape, damaging property, or being victimized by others. It's true, I have done all of it but the date rape thing(that is just wrong), and I don't regret it, in fact without me all those old street signs in b-town wouldn't have been replaced with the snazzy new ones, the sex was very unmemorable except for the puking part, and my friends still owe me 40 bucks for the beer.

Myth 2
Drinking isn't all that dangerous.

One in three 18 - 24 year olds admitted to emergency rooms for serious injuries is intoxicated. and alcohol is also associated with homicides, suicides, and drownings. Of course if you have a serious injury your going to be intoxicated, jeez, serious injuries are painful and the alcohol takes that pain away.

Myth 3

I can sober up quickly if I have to.

It takes about 3 hours to eliminate the alcohol content of two drinks, depending on your weight. Nothing can speed up this process-not even coffee or cold showers. But the real question is why would you want to?

Myth 4
It's ok for me to drink to keep up with my boyfriend.

Women process alcohol differently. No matter how much he drink, if you drink the dam amount as your boyfriend, you will be more intoxicated and more impaired. Good to know, ladies how about another drink.

Myth 5
I can manage to drive well enough after a few drinks.

About one-half of all fatal traffic crashes among 18-to 24- year olds involve alcohol. If you are under 21, driving after drinking any alcohol is illegal and you could lose your license. The risk of a fatal crash for drivers with positive BACs compared with other drivers increases with increasing BAC, and the risks increase more steeply for drivers younger than age 2 than for older drivers. I did not understand any of that, but get a cab. It makes drinking more fun. Or jump on random buses sometimes those make amazing adventures.

Myth 6
I'de be better off if I learn to "hold my liquor."

If you have to drink increasingly larger amounts of alcohol to get a "buzz" or get "high," you are developing tolerance. Tolerance is actuelly a warning sign that you're developing more serious problems with alcohol. Or maybe it means your having a really fun time in college.

Myth 7
Beer doesn't have as much alcohol as hard liquor.

A 12-ounce bottle of beer has the same amount of alcohol as a standard shot os 80-proof liquor (either straight or in a mixed drink) or 5 ounces of wine. And that is why you take shots, so you don't get filled up on all the beer.

So I hope you all have a wonderful drinking experience in college and post college. I know I am and I can't wait to tell all the stories associated with it.

Back and not black!

So it's been awhile since the last time, I, my sister, or my brother have written. And since my last project ended friday I figured why not get back into the swing of things by writing a little bit of craziness for all of you to read. So without further adue...