Saturday, November 26, 2005

Look Ma! That's the guy she lost her virginity to!!!

so, when is it appropriate to scream across a crowded bar to a friend and ask him if he'd heard the story about what happened last night? especially when the story has to do with me and the guy i had the unfortunate opportunity of losing my virginity to? my brother (the older one, that is) doesn't always think before he opens his mouth, so generally ridiculous and highly innapropriate things come spilling out of it. the story goes like this:

a few nights ago, i'm sitting in a super crowded bar on Madison Avenue with a few of my brother's friends (my brother is not present). We are drinking, heavily, as is everyone else in the bar, since most of the people happen to be from OP, this being the most crowded bar night of the year, the night before thanksgiving, the night everyone comes back to town, and goes out drinkin. as we are chattin and drinkin away, said-virginity-taker, stumbles upon us. upon his greeting, he says something along the lines of having just vomited in the bathroom and then proceeds to ask Downs for a sip of his beer.. i believe Downs then proceeded to pick up a random beer from a table and hand it to him, he drank up. (ps.. who vomits, tells people he vomits, and then asks for a sip of their beer??? real classy!!) i'm sitting there thinking, please, don't see me... he sees me. as he reaches toward my face, and touches my hair, i can't quite remember exactly what happened, i was concentrating on not vomiting out of disgust, i say hello and hope the conversation will end there. maybe he'll fall over and pass out.. if we're lucky he might even die from skeezyness.. so this sleezeball, just talks and talks, i don't even remember what he was saying, but it was obnoxious, and i think i spent most of the time kicking giles hopeing he would get this asshole out of there... no luck, no one could be saved from his mindless banter about how he loves his life of being a total prick and how he gets tons of job offers and turns them down, yet somehow makes loads of money, all of which seemed to be total bullshit, and all i could hope was that someone would come over and mistake him for someone they hate and beat the shit out of him... to my dismay, that did not happen. instead he stole away one of our other friends attention, and proceeded to bore her to death with how amazing he thinks he is... meanwhile, i lean over to Steotzner and grit my teeth, and tell him that i, at one point in time, found that thing, what ever he is, attractive, and had the unfortunate experience of losing my virginity to it. the laughter that ensued lasted about five minutes, and spread to everyone in our group as soon as they all discovered what was so funny... and it is funny.. disgusting, and hillarious...

so, this brings us to last night. the story is related to my brother while we are out drinking once again at the same bar. i don't mind the few people that we were with knowing, cuz it's ok to tell your close friends embarrasing personal things, cuz it's funny, and makes it hurt just a little less if other people can help you laugh at how much of a jackass you once were. BUT, here's where my brother makes the mistake, he decides to tell someone that i don't know, this story.. but not just tell him, he screams it across the table! so, i scream, as loud as my brother just screamed, "hey asshole, how would you feel if i broadcast to the whole bar how you lost your virginity.. oh wait, you haven't lost it yet!"

...and that my friends, is how i taught my brother a little lesson in decency.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

um..... what time is it???

Ok, so oops.. i accidentally woke up at 4pm today... i'm doing really bad at this jetlagged thing. like last night, i couldnt sleep, so i stayed up till 330. no problem there normally, except that my body is desperately trying to go back on Hong Kong time, so i didn't wake up until my dad came in to wake me up.. i got mad, thinking it was actually early in the morning, since it was dark out.. i later discovered that was cuz the sun had already set, and i missed the daylight.. dammit..

so.. back in chicago for the holidays..

surprisingly, i miss hong kong.... mostly i miss the hotel. i mean, what more could i have ever asked for in life? i had roomservice, buy one get one free at the bar, a maid that changed my sheets everyday and cleaned my bathroom and vacuumed my room, an amazing view out my bedroom window, a pool, really good breakfast and lunch buffets, awesome people to hang out (especially the cirque du soliel people that were staying at our hotel as well) and barstaff that liked to give us free alcohol.. alot!!!! i mean, really what more could i have ever want out of life? i lived it, the top, the cream of the crop, and now.....

....i'm at my parents house, being nagged, constantly, about health insurance... i had it all in hong kong, now i'm unemployed, terrified, my life is on pause, stuck at my parents house for a week.

i'll be in new york soon, then i get to spend lots of money i don't really have and try and get a job waiting tables.. gee that sounds fun!! hopefully my agent will get me a job fast... ahhhhh

ok.. i'm done freaking out.. i need to get dressed, it is already 5pm... maybe i'll go to the gym..

out
-cas

Sunday, November 20, 2005

What is a Jetcopter?

It all started with a police chase. In LA we get alot of them. So many, that the police started telling the local news crews that they were not allowed to televise them anymore. When I first moved here, and I was unemployed, I would spend hours watching high speed chases on the 405. Waiting anxiously for the accident that would end many peoples lives but add some excitment to my day.

Now I sit back and have to wait for one to pass by me to add this excitement. Last night while leaving the video store I had such a high speed chase pass by me. A friend of mine started talking about all the helicopters above us. There was channel 2 helicopter and channel 4 helicopter. But then their was Fox's Jetcopter. The question that bloomed before our eyes was what is a Jetcopter? Could it be a helicopter with at large jet attached to it's back, or is it just a snazy name for what we all refer to as a helicopter.

Well a simple google search has revealed to me that their is no difference. Yes in fact a jetcopter is a helicopter. Someone just thought that by saying Jetcopter they could make their plain old helicopter more fancy. Well that is not cool. I put it to the people, it is time for someone to create an actual jetcopter( a helicopter with a jet on it) to blow all those fake jetcopters out of the water. What do you say, who is with me?

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Hornets vs. Bees

Have you ever wondered who would win in the match-up of the century? Hornets vs. Bees? Well folks the verdict is in, this seriously disturbed me, but you have to admit the camera work is excellent. The soundtrack makes you feel like John Williams scored it himself. I'll let you decide which is your favorite part.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Why Elisha, Why

Dear Elisha,

I really never wanted this Blog to become a place of Hockey and all things associated with it, but today I recieved an email with this link in it. I had to rant about it. Elisha Cuthbert, ever since I was introduced to you on my favorite TV Show of all time, "24," I have had a crush on you, but after reading your blog, I'm dissapointed. Very dissapointed.

Elisha if your going to talk about Hockey you need to mention facts about Hockey. You need to mention players names such as Eric Lindros, Jaromir Jagr, or David Abischer just to name a few. I mean I like reading about figure skating, and trust me I am no expert on Hockey, but having a hockey blog I think would entail writing about hockey.

Also I can not comment on your blog. I know you are afraid weirdos will write things that are scary and maybe stalkerish. I mean I may end all my comments to you with Love the guy who watches you from that big tree outside your house. But come on, it's a blog, it is their so the public can read and have conversations about what you think is interesting. So all in all, dissapointed but I still love you. I mean how can you hate anyone that looks like that.

LOVE, THE GUY WHO WATCHES YOU FROM THE BIG TREE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE.
P.S. I'm sorry if it offended you when I had my PA friend tell you all this on set.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Korean Food...It just ain't right!

Dear Waitress at the "Prince" Restuarant,

Last night while eating at your restaurant for my friend Mike's Birthday dinner, you assured me that what I was picking off your menu was the tastiest dish you had. When the food arrived I have to admit the cabbage, pork, and garlic looked fine. It ws the giant bowl of raw oyesters that came with it that may have not been right.

You then explained how I mash everything together with some sauces and eat it as a roll; which is the correct way to eat this dish. This was fine as well, it even tasted good. But the puking that has ensued after eating one of those has laid me out for a good day now. Yes, only one of these things have I consumed and since that moment about 16 hours ago I travel to the bathroom every half hour for the flame of god to come out my ass and mouth at the same time.

I wish I could warn people not to eat this, but I don't even know how to prenounce it. So instead waitress of the "Prince," please do not reccommend this dish ever again. Remember we are just Americans who like our hamburgers and hot dogs, and sometimes your spices do not agree with us. And for all you people out their don't ever go to the "Prince" restaurant in korea town, or you may have the same fate as me.

Sincerely,
The guy who puked in your toilet last night

Monday, November 07, 2005

so, i got bored again.. go figure..

i created a yahoo photo account. why, you might ask? well, it's simple, yahoo lets me put as many photos in my account as i wish, and lets me make them public, so anyone can view them, and i dont have to hassle with finding people's email addresses so i can invite them to view my photos.

so, here are some pictures from my lovely paid vacation in Hong Kong. more to come later.

http://photos.yahoo.com/theturtleknows

be excited, this is exciting... no really... come on show a little excitment.... fine, just look at the pics at least.

jeez.....

Sunday, November 06, 2005

ok...

so, let's talk here for a second, about how i'm going to be back in the States in TWO WEEKS!!! for any of you that have ever spent a period of time in China, i'm sure you understand how thrilling this is. so, upon my return, i will be staying with the folks for a week to celebrate the last thursday of november.. and eat a lot of food. then, i will be making my way to fabulous new york city where all my friends sit around counting the days till i return so they can get on with their wonderful lives that include me... because, really, who doesn't sit around waiting for me all the time?

but, lo, the problem arrises when i get back to the city and after about a week of sleeping on my friend's couches, my back starts hurting, they kinda start hinting that i should move out, etc, and i decide that i really do infact need to find a place to live.

So, this is where it's your turn to help out. if you or anyone you know, knows of anyone looking for a roomate in NYC beginning roughly in the start of December, or January, please, let them know how fabulous i am, let them know i would love to be their roomate, and let them know, that i will probably never be around, but i promise the rent will show up on time!!!

so, that is the extent of my begging. i have much other important things to fill my time with, like going to theme parks on my day off, and spending hours in the gym. thanks again for all your efforts that i know you are just ready to put to good use!!!!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Joshua" I'm talking about the Movie!

So my sis beat me to the 50th post on the Blog. She beats me at lots of things. When we were little she beat me at a bike race because she kicked my bike over and cheated. When we would play nintendo she would beat me at Super Mario Bros. Recently she beat me by becoming famous before me. So when she beat me to the post, I figured the next post would have to be something really wity. Unfortunatly nothing good came to mind, so instead:

About 2 years ago I was the 1st AD on a movie called "Joshua." It was produced and directed by a bunch of friends of mine. We flew to Indiana and shot it in a month on super 16. Finally after the extremely long wait, the film is finally premiering. I'm really excited. So I encourage all to come to the premiere in Hollywood. Also check out this article about it in Fangoria magazine. This is a scary horror film, so be prepared to pee your pants.

..and i can't top that

so, i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to write anything in here now as impressive as my brother filling in for 'said actor' and having his first kiss televised to millions of people around the world. i must say, i am proud of you brother, it was about time, and you done did do it right!!

the only exciting news coming from the big HK is that, well, i fit into my skinny jeans!! i think girls are the only ones that find this exciting, since the first time i was reassured that other women obsess over this was when i was watching Sex in the City, ya know, when Miranda fits into her skinny jeans again after having gained all the weight from having Brady. so, i feel like, since there really isn't much else to tell about, there it is folks, skinny jeans, huzzah...

my boredom is beginning to give me a new view of things, i need to do something with my life, be creative with my boredom. so, yesterday, i decided to spend a lot of money. that was fullfilling. i felt much less bored after purchasing two new leather bags, two pairs of shoes, makeup cases, and a skirt. now, don't get me wrong, these aren't prada or anything, i bought them all at this cheap knockoff market, my shoes cost 7dollars each, and the most expensive thing i bought came in around 200HK, which is roughly 23dollars. sooo, i haven't gone past me perdiem, and i'm pretty satisfied!!

the other hobbie i have picked up has become spending money on iTunes, downloading the new season of LOST. i must say, if anyone hasn't started watching this show, you must, MUST!! it's absolutely fantastic!

so, when i'm not obsessing over Lost, or my new shoes, or the skinny jeans, i must say, i'm pretty bored. it's getting cooler out and well, i can't exactly go swimming anymore, and the circus people that just moved into the hotel don't want anything to do with the sound of music folk, so, anyone got any ideas? i mean it.. really? any thing? WHAT SHOULD I DO!!??!?!?

ok, thanks for your help.

i'm gonna go to the gym.

-cas