Monday, October 03, 2005

My Birthday Extravaganza

So let's just say I drank a lot on my birthday this weekend. Wouldn't you drink a lot as well if you were turning 25. I think so. Quarter Life crisis I think they call it. Especially when the bartenders are your friends and things have a tendency to be free. This story has a great moral lesson, so get ready for it!

I went to the Brass Monkey, The best kareoke bar in Los Angeles. I'm a regular their with my friends (Or as we are known in the kareoke world; "Jenny's Fan Club.")and we always bring down the house with our skills. The night started off great when I was greeted with Birthday Hugs from my favorite Waitress at the Brass Monkey, Jenny. Also I could tell the night was going to be a world wind of events when my friends Drew and Dave found out that the bartenders could make a drink that we all loved during our Indiana Days called the "AMF." For those of you that don't know the drink it stand for "Adios Mother Fucker" and kind of tastes like a blue jolly rancher.

Now singing at the monkey consists of putting your name down on a piece of paper, handing it to Dj, who then puts it at the bottom of a stack of other papers. Unless you are Me and my friends, we go int he VIP stack to the side of the stack, and whenever the DJ feels like it he throws in your song. One of the perks of being a regular. I start off my set with Come Sail Away, which gets lots of groans, but come on people STYX, can anyone say Greatest American Rockband! And I'm pretty good, "I'm sailing away." On this night though I started with Mary Had a Little Little Lamb, becuase their was a TV crew their and everyone wanted me to sing. It was pretty bad.My friends got up and sang, they rocked as usual. Then as "Jenny's Fan Club" we got up and sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart." The whole place went crazy becuase we have turned this into an Art. Especially my friend Dancin' Dave. He is one hell of a Kareoker. But I have gotten off topic, the moral lesson.

I am 25 years old and one would think that with the years behind me I would have learned a thing or two about women. But what I have learned is that I know absolutly nothing at all about them. They confuse me more then anything else. My job can be confusing with the miscommuncation that sometimes occurs, but that just causes a million dollars down the tube here and there. With women it involves emotions, heart ache, body language that I don't get, and my head feeling like somone tied it in a tight knot. So how did I learn this important lesson.

Well like I said I am 25, alcohol tends to make me say the things that I hold back from people. Not because I am not honest, but because I realize the consequences of saying these things when I am not drinking. For example when I threw your present across the room, it had nothing to do with jealousy or being angry. It had more to do with no understanding of what was going on. I mean you left with that guy, and I realize we are not dating at all, we are just friends. But I felt like we were becoming more. All I know is at the beginning when you moved out here, I thought to myself, ok, just be friends with her, you can do this Stickler. But as I got to know you, I realized how great you are. I also realized that I can't shut off feelings. I tried bottling them up and look what happens when I tried to do that. Boom!

So I decided to analyze my friendships with the girls in my life and why they are just my friends. I came to the realization that it has to do with a spark that just doesn't exist, some of them are even really attractive. I just don't feel anything for them but their friendship. What I realized is this is exactly how you feel about me. It hurts but their is nothing I can do to make you change your feelings. I know that, I knew that when I was getting all charged up outside the bar. It's like that old addage:

Harry: What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on? All right, all right. Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car.) That's what I always say. Let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? (She glares at him.) You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.
Sally: Harry -
Harry: I said I would and I didn't...I went the other way...What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not gonna be friends, then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

So what do I do? I have no idea. But I'm done feeling crappy.

It is time to start the next chapter in my life, I'm 25, I'm single, I'm making headway on my career. Someone out their will like me for me. I just seem to be having trouble finding that person. Oh that damn moral, you ready:

"The Dude Abides...The Dude Abides"


Blogger youngest stickler said...

hey bro i forgot your birthday, sorry dude, glad you had a good time. Happy belated birthday

October 04, 2005 2:39 PM  

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