Friday, September 30, 2005

It's Coming

In 3 Hours it will be October 1st, 2005. Let the countdown begin to my 25th Birthday!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

George W. Bush

I was going to write about George W. Bush tonight before I fell asleep. Their is so much that I want to say, and I will freely admit that when he was first elected in his first term as president of the United States of America, I made the comment, "What could he really do in one term to destroy our country?" Now I didn't vote for him either time, but I am still eating those words today. Mr. Bush(see how I did that correctly) has not single handedly turned our country into the waste land that it seems to be transforming into. No, he has his entire administration to take a majority of the blame. And a bunch of disasters that happened to occur while he is in office. But all Jokes aside, I think this pretty much sums up all we need to know about Mr. Bush.

Monday, September 26, 2005

And we all thought Rudy was good

No truer words have ever been spoken:

"Live for today for tomorrow is always another day."


This is one amazing story that everyone should take a moment to read.

to the asian woman who tried to perm my hair:

have you ever permed anyone's hair before? cuz i don't think ya have... next time you are required to perform perming duties on a customer's hair.. don't read the instructions in front of them.. over and over again.. don't apply the chemicals to their hair, and then check the instructions to see if you did it right.. and then an hour later, after you've unrolled one of the curls and it isn't curly, check the instructions again, send them to the back to get their hair rinsed and then reapply something on their hair hoping that you haven't royally fucked something up. then after another 40someodd minutes take out the curlers only to discover that the hair isn't curly at all, and then lie to the customer and tell themthat it will curl when it dries.. especially when your customer brought along with her two hair stylists that are paying for this to be done and know what a perm should look like... don't lie, just admit that you fucked up.. don't spend a half hour frizzing out their hair, trying to prove that you didn't fuck up.. cuz you did, and now this customer has wasted all day and you have ruined her hair, and now she has to spend all night with a really strong conditioner in her hair because not only is it still straight, but really nappy and coarse.
i really appreciate you finally offering to allow us to come in on thursday to fix it and telling us we don't have to pay until then, that's really sweet... but my hair looks like shit and if you can't fix this, i'm gonna sue your asian ass.
so, next time you have to perm someone's hair.. i recommend you KNOW HOW TO perm hair!!!

To the Girl who made out with my brother:

What were you thinking? have you met my brother? no, i'm serious.. really.... why? i wanna know...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

My Official Apology To The Ye Rustic Inn


Dear Ye Rustic Inn,

I am Sorry Ye rustic Inn for the drunken stupor that I brought upon your humble bar last night. I am sorry for being loud and unruly because I had been drinking beer at other places since noon of that day. I am sorry for the moment when I pushed a girl up against the jukebox, made out with her and blocked the jukebox from being used. I am sorry that I was loud to my favorite two bartenders about how I needed to get pictures with them. I'm sorry that I didn't stop blocking the jukebox with my crazy make out session even when the bartenders started throwing straws at me. I am sorry that when I left I couldn't see straight and I pushed all those people out of my way accidently dumping some beer on that one guys shirt. I am sorry to my friends who had to witness all of this and I am sure will be making fun of me for months to come.

I have always loved you Ye Rustic Inn, their is and will always be a special place in my heart for you. Not only do you always get me to the point of utter intoxication, but you are located steps from my apartment. I love the way that you are just dark enough, that I can never fully see who I am talking too and that your awsome classic rock music is pumped out of the jukebox just loud enough, so I can't make out what people are saying. And I love the fact that your bartenders are the best bartenders in LA. So Ye Rustic Inn I am sorry for last night. Next time I'll try to be a little more under control, unless of course my friends are buying the drinks.

-Stickler Your Faithful Bar Patron

Thursday, September 22, 2005

to anyone who's interested

So, my older brother tells me some of you folks that actually read this bloggythingydoo are in the 'biz,' as we call it, and well, i think i'd like to take this opportunity to take a brief moment of self promotion, since ya know, why the fuck not.

Here is my headshot:


yes, that unbelievably actractive female is none other than your's truly.

Now, if you feel so obliged, please, take a few moments to stare, if you need to save this picture on your hard drive, go ahead, the more people that can see that shining face the better, eh?

If you'd like a copy of my resume, don't be shy, I can always email ya one, just let me know who's interested and I'd love to send you a copy.

Now, down to business.

Incase you were unaware, I am currently in Hong Kong playing a sixteen year old girl in The Sound of Music. Now, don't be fooled, I am not infact sixteen. I just thought that you should all be notified that that gorgeous femme up there will be available to fill any positions that might pop up in december. Ya know, just in case Katie Holmes, or who ever the star of your big movie is, gets too anorexic to work, or marries some big celebrity and decides to put on a few pounds, or is just too much of a diva for you to handle, just gimme a call, I promise I will be there to solve all your problems! really it's no problem at all, I'll star in your movie if that's what it comes down to, really, I won't complain.

So, just gimme a holler, I'll be around.

thanks for your time!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

323507189fjhGKJ_ph


323507189fjhGKJ_ph
Originally uploaded by stickpot.
trying to figure out how to blog this picture, i hope i did it right

Rockford disaster

A couple of weeks ago I ventured down to the small city of Rockford Illinois, where I was to meet a very beautiful musical theater major named Rachel. I was very excited because I had not seen her in over a year. When I got there to my surprise I was welcomed by an old lady with a heavy scandanavian accent. She first asked who I was then she tried to shove corn down my throat (corn is a reaccurring subject in this story). When I finally found Rachel we hopped in my car and drove off to her farm which was about 20 miles away, when we got there she told me that she was going to tell her grandma that we there so I waited by the car. The second Rachel was out of site, her grandma popped up with a shotgun. She had a very quizzical expression on her face because she doesn't get many visitors so she wasn't sure what to do with me so to get my attention, which she all ready had mind you. She fired a shot in the air and asked very politely, "who the fuck are you". I'm terrified at this point and about ready to shit my pants. So I try as hard as I can to force out the words "I'm Rachels friend". Thank god Rach showed up just in time to explain the situation. Sadly to my dismay the downward path in which this story starts, it continues. Rach is a farm girl and anytime there is work to be done she must do it. So she loads my van with moldy corn husk to take back to her house, this shit smells terrible, and the stank is still in my car. When we get back to her house and remove the corn husk we realize we have some unwelcomed guests in my trunk. A couple thousand ticks. "Oh joy" is what I said to this (sorry joy). I ended up spending the next hour or so cleaning my trunk and vaccuming it.After this automotive tragedy Rachel says that we have to go to her cousins birthday party. So we go. I have never seen so many rednecks in one place. Her whole goddamn family was there. They invited me to play vollyball with them so I agreed, and once the ball was hit towards me I hit it with all my might and knocked it into a neighbors fenced backyard. This was a wonderful first impression and was met with many dirty looks from her family. I volunteered to hop the fence and get the ball. Now this is a very tall wooden fence, and I had no idea of what may be waiting for me inside. So I jump over and almost break my leg, and that when I heard it. The growling of this huge fuckin dog. I had about two seconds to act before this dog bit my ass off so I ran grabbed the ball and dove head first over the fence. I landed on my arm(which still hurts). I went up to the birthday boy after this who had just turned one year old. I said "hello" and he said "brahhhhhhhhh", which was followed by him throwing up all over me. This made things perfect, because the entire family, whom already did not like me began laughing histerically at me. I went and cleaned up and Rach finally said that it was time to go.The next part of the evening went well. I took Rachel out to dinner where I began flirting, and so did she. We ended up in a park where it was about 44 degrees out. Not too bad, but I was wearing a short sleave shirt and slacks, so I was a little cold. She wanted to look at the stars so I said ok and we went to a bridge which was surrounded by beer flags of the highest quality, "caugh", MGD and Miller light was all I could see in the darkness. We laid down on this bridge and inorder to keep me warm Rach got very close to me (hehe). I was fuckin tired by the end of the night and really just wanted to go home after this disaster of a trip, so when she moved in to kiss me and I kissed her back and this went on for awhile but I really didn't want this, and I was becoming less and less attracted to her as the night went by so I said "I gotta go". So I took her home and I drove home hopeing that I would never have to face a night like that again.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Some truth about me

I can sit and listen to the rain for hours. I love the rain and I miss it, but tonight while I type this it is actually storming in California. Well, at least what we would consider a storm, by midwest standards definitly a drizzle. I love the rain, the calming aspects of it. I always get the best sleep when I hear it pounding against the roof as I lay in the dark wrapped in my covers. those nights are full of vivid dreams where I am sailing on the open seas to far off places. It also makes me think of all the horrific rainstorms I have seen in my life. It reminds me of college and walking through flooded streets, sitting in tents playing cards with friends as the rain whips at my tent, and of long drives through rain so powerful you can't see 10 feet in front of you. I love the rain, but the rain also made me start writing.

So, Little Bro you wanted something personal, here is the first chapter of the book I have been writing, it is about the rain.

1

As the car starts to whir, my eyes slowly start to drift closed. Ever since I can remember I have always been the kid who falls asleep in the car. Today was no exception, especially with the soft drizzle of rain beating against the roof. Lulling me into a pleasant sleepy feeling…

Have you ever made a rainstorm at a campfire? It is amazing, because if you close your eyes, it feels like there may be one coming. Now a campfire ring is usually packed with kids, adults, teenagers, the young, the old, everyone from all walks of life. Even the occasional animal or two. The camp staff standing in the center, mere feet away from the hot swirls of fire that go screaming towards the sky, singing and dancing camp fire songs loud enough to wake up the entire lake.

As the light in the horizon starts to fade away, one staff member stands up and looks out towards the crowd and says, “Tonight is a special night, a night for us all to remember. There is magic around this campfire and were gonna use some of it to conjure up a rainstorm.” The looks from the crowd are silently deafening. And the rest of the staff stands up and they spread out. Each taking their small corner of the campfire and explaining to the small groups in front of them to just follow their actions.

It starts with everyone rubbing their thumb and index fingers together. Not snapping, just rubbing. It is faint but it sounds like a soft mist floating to the ground. Suddenly everyone slowly starts rubbing their hands together, the mist starts to get louder and louder as it catches on around the ring.

Then one group will start snapping their fingers, making the slow sounds of drops beating against the pavement. Louder and louder…

Then comes the clapping, first one group to your right, then another, and then comes the stomping with your feet. Waves of clapping and sounds like a horrific storm is upon you ready to swirl you away like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

Crash…

The lightening streaks through the sky again, my heart was pounding from the deafening roar of the thunderclap. The sky had taken on that greenish hue again; we would be in for some sort of terrible storm. I had been up at Boy Scout camp for a week. Two weeks if you counted the week of family camp prior to being driven to far north Wisconsin. I rest my head against the window and continue daydreaming about the campfire from the night before.

Crash…

But as fast and as loud as it sounds, it comes to a climax. One group stops stomping and clapping and reverts back to snapping. Slowly other groups are catching on.

Crash…

The car jerks to the side, and I’m woken from my daze. My friends are cheering on our driver. He just turned 19, and we had to many boys in the troop to fit the number vehicles driven by parents. So the three of us lucked out and got to ride in his van. Looking out the back window I see that our leader who was bringing up the rear has turned down another road. Probably heading to the store to pick up snacks. I look at (A) who is sitting next to me and then to the back of the car to the other boy whose name I never can remember. I think it starts with a S, so (S) is telling a story, more thunder and lightening, my eyes are getting heavy…

Crash…

Then to rubbing your hands together, to just your fingers, till there is nothing but silence. The lead staff member returns to the middle of the ring and says, “And there you have it a rainstorm.

Crash…

My head is kind of cold from leaning it against the window; the lightening is really cool ripping across the sky. The other boys are cheering our driver to speed up the car, because were coming upon the three hills right outside of camp. He speeds up and I feel the car take a little air over the first hill. My stomach drops. The second hill, my stomach drops again. Everyone is laughing, I turn my eyes to the window again; the rain is really coming down, making it hard to see outside, I blink…

White.

Monday, September 19, 2005

that's the little booger that pissed all over me.

hey

how the fuck do i post pics on this thing?

floods in austria

funny story.

last week, second to last performance of The Sound of Music in Hangzhou, China.

End of the First Act, Party Scene.

Middle of 'So Long Far Well.'

Gretl can't hold it in any longer. A large stream of piss starts running down her legs, i first notice it as her pink suede shoes begin to change from light to dark. i nonchalantly begin to look toward teh rest of the cast/party guests hoping someone is aware of what is going on, and i'm not imagining this. Gretl slowly swishes her dress to allow the rest of teh piss to drip off her dress and backs up toward the stairs to sing 'the sun has gone to bed and so must i.' i can feel the terror begin to swell up in my body as i realize i have to pick her up and carry her up the stairs at the end of this song. i walk over to her, grab her hand and walk her to the stairs, all while taking in strong wiffs of piss smell and trying desperately not to break out into a hysterics. we get to the stairs, i hold her hand, i avoid eye contact with everyone on stage for fear of losing it, as does everyone on stage avoid eye contact with me as they grip onto eachother and pray that they will be able to make it through the rest of the scene without pissing themselves too! i do not sing the last lines of the song 'good bye' mostly cuz my shoulders are shaking horribly and all my efforts are spent on trying not to break down laughing. The song ends.. i pick gretl up, trying not to get piss all over my dress and my hands.. failing miserably, carry her up the stairs, and then let her down as soon as i have cleared the audience. the child rangler sees mary(gretl) and says 'mary what happened?' to which she cooly responds, 'i peed.' and proceeds to change her clothes and not once does she cry, not once is she embarrassed, but laughs the whole thing off like its the funniest fucking thing she's ever done.. working with six year olds is always a treat.. oh, live theatre.. ya never know what will happen next.

-cas

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Super Mario Bros. 3

So I recently pulled out the old nintendo, and you'll never guess which game I have been playing. Yes, It is Super Mario bros 3. Now I never thought I would be one to post about my nintendo, but I have too. The girl who has been playing Super Mario Bros. 3 with me is way better at the game then I am. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

I remember a time when I was much younger and I could school anyone in it. I mean Hell, I remember when "The Wizard" came out in theatres. Fred Savage in all his glory, and who can forget Luke Edwards, the little kid who was the best Nintando player anywhere. I remember running to the movie theatre, waiting in line for what seemed like hours so not only could I be there to see the all anticipated game footage of SMB3 but I could also see the first ever use of the power glove. My mouth was literally drooling as I sat on the edge of my seat. But why didn't they tell us the power glove didn't just control mario with the swipe of a hand, you still had to use the pad on the glove? Still it rocked.

But lately I have been reliving my old glory days and have realized I'm just not that good at this anymore. I swear my finger control on the old nintendo pad just isn't as good as it is on the X-Box controller(I know my old roommates are laughing at this comment). But I keep playing, not very well, but I keep on chugging along. It makes me sad to wonder what happened to all my other Nintendo games that I can't seem to find. I know I had quite a large collection consisting of Contra, Duck Tales, Ghosts and Goblins, TMNT 1 and 2, Super Mario Bros 2, Super Mario Bros. 3(currently I am borrowing the one I am playing) Zelda 1 and 2. I wonder if my mother through them out with the trash. I remember my father telling me stories of how his mother throughout his baseball cards. Maybe NES games are the baseball cards of the future. Regardless, it has brought out the kid in me once again.

For the last part of this rant I want to complain about how hard it is to get that star, well any of those things to match up. Again I rememeber being really good at this, but now I just plain suck at it. What was the trick, someone help me out? Maybe soon I'll be able to beat level one without help.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

birthday wishes

my dearest brother poopface....

.. i would like to apologize for the retarded state your older brother has been in lately resulting in his complete lack of awareness of anyone but himself and his little life out in california that consists mostly of chasing unavailable women and surfing, and therefore forgetting about your birthday. I, on the other hand, hope you got my message, next time when you see a number calling your fucking cellphone that is more than 10 digits, it's probably me calling from fucking asia you tardwad, so fucking answer it!! i don't care if you're at work or whatever, it costs me a lot of money to call you, and i'd appreciate an answer sometime.
so, how ya been little man? heard mom caught you fucking some chick on my bed? well, the least you could have done was clean up your own mess and fuck this girl on your own bed, but that would probably take up too much of your precious time, so forget that idea.
sorry life is so tough, this is what happens when you drop out of school, i felt the same way when i lived with mom and dad for a semester sophomore year after i dropped out, trust me, it only gets worse.. but it will really make you realize how much you need to get your shit together so you never have to put yourself in the situation of living with them ever again.. its very motivating.
i hope working at the pizza place has proved to be a life changing experience for you. there is so much to learn from pizza, when you figure that out, please telll me, i'm dying to know the secrets of deep dish stuffed spinach pizza.. mmmm..
keep up the good work pal, i hope you are still somewhat motivated to play your trumpet.. the one amazing talent you have.

love your big sis

ps.
please stop having sex on my bed.
thanks.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Five Bladed Razor of the Future



About a year ago, in my LA times I recieved a coupon for one free Gillette Mach 3 Turbo. Yes, Gillette had introduced a new 3 blade system plus it vibrated to make the hairs stretch out longer so all three blades could get an even closer shave. Greedily I went to the store to pick up my new razor, especially since I was still using the old one blade system. Around the same time I ran into this article at The Onion. I laughed and thought damn I just bought a new fangled razor. This razor is the greatest thing ever, I swear I have had some of the best shaves of my life since aquiring it.


But I'm guessing recently someone at the ol' Gillette corporation happened to run across the same article at The Onion. And that person definitly did not find it a laughing matter. No, they thought to themselves, why yes, The Onion has something here. So not only did I get this in an e-mail from my friends, but it made the front page of the business section in the LA times as well as the CNN site. Check out the article here.


Now I gotta say this; five blades, really, am I going to have any skin left on my face. Come on Gillette, The Onion was making a joke, your CEO didn't really write that. But I do have to say, that little razor on the back for cutting those hard to reach places(ie. under the nose) great idea. But still do I need this? Well, of course I do becuase I'm not gonna pass up a new free razor. Even if the replacement razors are 50 dollars each.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Beer Pong

Lately Beer Pong has come up in conversation to frequently for me not post something about it. Therefore this quote does a better job putting my thoughts into words then I could myself.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-Deep Thought, Jack Handey

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

John Roberts or should I say I, Roberts.

I got this e-mail today from my friend Scott and I'm going to post it because it made me laugh, and seriously creeped me out.


From Scott:
Subject: I,Roberts

They even got the five o'clock shadow right. That's not easy. Even God f$*#cked that up pretty bad with Fuller and Tello.

The overall demeanor is still rather languid. But honestly, his speech patterns are fluid and he's as obedient to his master as you could ever hope for.

V.4 has been programmed to remember constitutional law as well as up-to-the-minute common law. Yet, I still think it's OK to take my lunch hour at the exact same hour as Basil Elementary's recess. That's illegal, right? No!? Well, that coupled with the public masturbation has to be. Thank god R. Kelly's windows are tinted.

But, Republicans.... C'mon!! After all this painstaking detail how in Christ's name do you forget the EYELIDS!!!!???

And Rove, I'm on to you, you sneaky son of a bitch.

I know if you rearrange the letters "John Roberts" you get something like Shren J. Robot. (I'm still working on decoding this)

Coincidence you ask? How 'bout this factoid: John Roberts nickname at Harvard was "Res Ipsa Loquitur" which to those of you non-fluent in Latin means "the thing speaks for itself." What else would you call a Republobot?

Don't believe what I'm saying??

Just look at the attachment. Sooooooooo close....... but no eyebrows.


Thursday, September 08, 2005

Sisters

Well the Phat Phree has done it again. They have taken my thoughts about my sister and put them into the immortal internet. Forever friends of mine will be able to link to this article and understand what it is like to be me and have a sister that your friends are always hitting on. But let me say that if I ever find out that any of you have ever done this, especially those of you in NY, you will die. It will be slow, it will be painful, and you won't see it comin. Unless of course your already married to her, then maybe I could let it slide, but I would still be a little pissed. For those of you who have a sister read the article, trust me you'll all understand.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hurricanes a Blowin


When I got to work this morning and started reading the paper, in front of me was a plethora of stories about the hurricane. I read an amazing tale in the LA times of a family of policemen turning their house into a fortress for the policemen who had no homes. From this place they kept on working, trying to rescue people, and keep order; never knowing where their next supplies would come from. It was amazing and encouraging to know that their are people like that out there. All the talk of hurricanes reminded me of the position that I was in last year, when I got first hand experience with three of them while working in the carribbean.

The wind wasn't really the scary part, it was the sound it made as it crashed into the side of the building, up rooting palm trees. And the sounds of the waves crashing making a deafing roar sometimes so loud you couldn't hear the people next to you talking. The ramshackle hut I was in when hurricane Jeanne went right over us, was definitly a site I will never forget, thank god we had that bottle of champagne from Necar with us to keep us sane. From this experience though I learned about two great web sites. For the best in Hurricane and storm tracking information I recommend NOAA National Hurricane Center. It is hands down the most informative site. Also just as good and more caribbean focused is the Carribean Huricane Network, which is great because their is a place for people to post stories, and it focuses more on each individual island. For us it helped us to figure out the proximity of the storm by using GPS way points.


Lastly for all you people in Florida, I wish you luck with Ophelia, Maria, and Nate. For the rest of the country I hope everyone is doing their part to help those who are less fortunate due to the disaster. I just hope that major earthquake that is way past due in california doesn't decide to show it's ugly face now.

"To young to take over, to old to ignore". Thats how I feel about my life right now. I can't see my dreams come true yet because I just have too much shit to swim through first. Shit thats depressing.
This summer has been a summer of drug induced hullucinations, bike riding, practicing and a couple of random road trips, oh and "Simply Pool". I just got back from Cinci, I had a great time, helped my brother Farley move in to our apartment. I had to carry 3 couches and fight off some homeless ninjas who wanted to take them from us. I hung out with Leigh and spent the night at her house twice, we got really drunk at the first drama party of the year and hit up Graters for some of the best ice cream in the world.
I'm buying a motorcycle. Yes I know how dangerous they are but one of the few things I take enjoyment from in life is riding my bike so this just seems like the next logical step.
This weekend I'm gonna have sex with an artist, about fuckin time too, its been like two months.
Sorry this is such a random entry, I'm just lonley being at home,
so it goes

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Stickler


Since I have this Blog, and it is devoted to all things Stickler, I decided to google the word. The first hit was for none other then the "Stickler." It is the most efficient log splitter ever designed, or for all you ladies(and Gay men) one hell of a dildo.But let's get something straight about The "Stickler," it is designed like a giant wood screw that bolts to the hub of a car or truck. By harnessing the vehicle's engine for power, the "Stickler" can split logs far faster and more efficiently than any self-powered splitters, either hydraulic or screw-type. If you just substitute "Please Ladies" in for "Split Logs" I swear this could be a definition for myself. But don't take my word for it, click above and you can see the "Stickler" in action for yourself. I have never been so proud to be a Stickler.

A solution to my gas problem.

So I figured out a way to get people to notice the price gouging. Everyone should write their representative and maybe the flood of complaints will do something. Just click above, that is so cool that you can just click above.

Friday, September 02, 2005

My quest for cheap gas


Today I filled my car with gas and it cost me 40 dollars. Yeah gas prices are High, but I have a Honda Civic. The tank isn't even that big, why is it costing me 40 dollars? So I did a little research today on why. Down the block from my apartment is a small gas station. After filling my car with gas I walked up to the center 4 by 4 foot glass cubicle and pounded as hard as I could on it. This of course woke the gas station attendant sleeping inside. His name, not kidding, was Habib. I said to him, "Habib, why is the gas so expensive here. He told me in very broken english, that it was because of the hurricane. They were not able to get the amount of gas they needed and they raised the price. Now I know for a fact that this is an outright lie. Yesterday in the LA times, their was a great article, which unfortunatly you have to be a subscriber to read. But it said that we get our Gas from farther up the coast and it comes into the ports in Long Beach. Which means, our gas pries should not be going up for any reason. What gives. So I decided to go the source of the problem and I called the white house to complain. Too bad the white house had enough complaining from the president himself about the fact he would be missing his nap to tour the hurricane damage. The white house operator was also not able to give me a answer. So I'm sunk, where do I turn, Arnold Schwarzeneger? For now at least I know that Habib will be keeping his family fed and his Benz clean since he is the one raking in my hard earned money.

i'm in china

Hey.. so, i joined your blog.. i have my own but it sucks.. i may never use it.. anyway.. i'm in china.. hangzhou to be exact.. it's kinda trashy. like, not nearly as cool as hong kong.. and really fucking hot.. like i wanna tear my skin off hot and walk around butt naked.. i've been trying to blend in, by learning a few things to say like, nee how which mean hello and shei shei which means thanks.. but unfortunately i'm too lazy to learn much more than that, and well, seeing as how i'm like the opposite of chinese, and will never be able to actually blend in, i have been failing miserably at my attempts to not be noticed in this city so, rather than blend i try to embrace my tourist-ness, by taking out my map and trying to find places on my own, but when i take it out i end up feeling just like a nasty loser american, and then i feel like i might as well start eating at mcdonalds and get myself a cute little fannypack.. god forbid people mistake me for an american.. so my friend andi have taken it upon our selves to pretend we are from australia and have picked up amazing australian accents and have been using the often.. although, no one can really understand us anyway, that it doesnt really matter what accent we are speaking in.. in which case, i'm doomed to be pigeon holed into being a dumb american.. i guess that means i'm off to the store to buy a neck strap for my camera and a wardrobe of neon green and orange tank tops with matcing splatterpainted shorts that ride up and show off my ass crack to the world... cuz no matter how hard i try, i will never look asian. alll my hopes and dreams crushed.